Awesome

33 Weeks

Quote for the Day

Anything that feels that good should be a sin.

I think somebody said that.

-JW

26 Weeks

Here's my belly at 26 weeks

Up to Speed

For my 1 1/2 readers, here are some updates to get you up to speed on my life.

• I'm Married! J. and I got married in May. My grandfather walked me down the aisle!




• I'm Pregnant! It's a GIRL!! Our daughter, Nora Ashton, is due on 11/9/11. If I can push my knees together for two days she'll arrive on 11/11/11. Wouldn't that be an awesome birthday!?




• Our mastiff Ben died :,o( He was 11 years old and we buried him in the backyard. Random facts: He and I shared the same birthday. He as adopted by our cat, Minnie Mouse. Ben's mom was also named Minnie Mouse, but we didn't know that at the time we named the cat. We think the cat was Ben's mom, reincarnated to be with him in his last days.




• The cat, Minnie Mouse, whom we also call Momma Cat, is on her second set of kittens. J. brought her home after being abandonded at one of his rental properties, and she was pregnant immediately after arriving. I meant to get her fixed after her first litter, but everthing crazy happened with J. and before we knew it, she was fat again. As of today, we have 8 cats at our house. That is ridiculous. Want a cute grey and white kitten? I have plenty to share.




• J. is past his bout with MRSA, a terrifying and eye-opening experience I tell you. If you think something is bug bite, but it doesn't itch, please don't ignore it. It could put you in the hospital or worse.




• Strange pregnancy cravings: mustard, fried chicken, sliced tomatoes with rice vinegar, cookies at 3am, Golden Delicious apples, carbs of any kind, fruit of any kind.




• Got rear-ended by a teenage boy playing with his iPod. We are fine, car is the shop as I type.




• That's about it for now.

T-Shirt of the Day

Did you see they are coming out with a new Spider-Man movie already? The Tobey Maguire ones aren't even old yet. Hollywood really is running out of ideas, hence Cowboys and Aliens.

I peed a little when I saw this!!!

Courtesy of: Icanhascheezburger.com

Emily's Salsa Recipe

I've had a number of people ask me for my salsa recipe so here it is. I would love to try some if you make your own batch.

Emily’s Salsa

· Tomatoes from the Farmers Market, on the ripe side (not grocery store as they are not ripe, but very acidic)
· Jalapeno’s: seeded for more mild, leave the seeds for hotter
· White onion
· Tomatillo’s
· Cilantro
· Lime juice
· Salt
· Pinch or two of sugar

Optional if finely chopped by hand, not in a food processor:
· Mango
· Cucumber
· Pineapple
· Peach
· Your favorite extra

1. Rough cut Onion, Tomatillos and Cilantro. Add all to food processor until onion is finely cut. You need to put the onion in with the cilantro as it will not cut by itself, just stick to the edges.
2. Rough chunk tomatoes, add to food processor and tap On button, do not put continually On or you will have tomato sauce.
3. Press down and roll lime on counter before cutting in half to release juices. Squeeze in lime juice to your preference. I usually use ½ a lime.
4. Add salt and sugar to your preference.
5. Test
6. Fix: If too hot, add splash of vinegar. If too mild, add Tabasco or similar hot sauce. I like the Japanese chicken sauce, it’s not called that but it has a chicken on the bottle and green top, so you know what I’m talking about.
7. Drain some water with flat spoon
8. Let sit overnight
9. Test again
10. Enjoy!

I try to drain as much water from the tomatoes as I can, then let everything sit overnight and meld. The next day I use a large, flat spoon to drain out more water if it’s too soupy. Both the onion and tomatoes have a high water content. I’ve also drained the water and used it to marinade steaks and chicken. That’s good too, if you’re not a lettuce head. Good Luck and Good Eats!

Bless the Broken Road

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Pic of the day

Ash Tree Fairy

It will make sense soon enough.

Spoon Fed vs. Hunting

I was recently asked by someone to prove to them that God exists. It upset me and caused me to ponder. Not because they didn't believe in God, but because they were lazy. Emotionally and spiritually lazy. My relationship with God has been formed over many years, many searches and prayers, with much effort on my part. It is based on subtle and not so subtle experience after experience. I cannot give someone my proof that God exists, as I cannot hand my experience to another person. I also have experience in handling frustrated stock brokers and tantrum throwing 2-years olds (similar in their own ways but that is a different story). I cannot give that experience away either, so why would someone think that I can offer them my proof that God exists? It is arrogance and laziness that prompts such a demand. 'Show me a sign that I may believe", but I won't go searching for those signs and experiences myself. Just laziness and pride, in my opinion.

I heard on the radio that a man with an opinion will never convince a man with an experience. You can have the opinion that a bright red stove top is not hot, but my experience tells me that it is and you will never convince me otherwise. If I have learned something to be true for myself, your opinion will not change what I already know. Especially if it is not something you have experienced yourself, whether by choice or chance.

Now if two people go through the same experience side-by-side and come out with different viewpoints and memories from that experience, I can understand differing of opinions. In that case, they have both seen, felt or walked the same path and, because of our nature, would learn different lessons and see things differently. That makes sense to me. When someone chooses not have the experience then demands that I convince them that I actually had my experience, it bothers me. They are too lazy to try themselves, and want me to spoon feed what I learned to them. They are too lazy or scared or whatever to hunt for meat themselves. Makes me feel sorry for someone who doesn't search for knowledge and truth, but may very well believe whatever is told to them. If I can put it in their hand and convince them it is true, they will believe whatever I tell them, instead of finding out for themselves.

If there is one things that I've learned in this life, is that my senses can and will deceive me. What things appear to be on the outside, in not always what they truly are on the inside. I have to learn and search and find out the truth for myself. I'm grateful for my hungry spirit that seeks and will not be quenched. It is what drives me closer to my God and closer to myself.

Blogworthy

If all the animals along the equator...

If all the animals along the equator were capable of flattery, then Thanksgiving and Halloween will fall on the same day.

I'm going to wear flip-flops to my wedding. Yup!

Just because I can, and I have them, I will be posting a ton of old pics of family and friends on Facebook. Why not?

Name calling breaks my heart.

I'm so excited about the new landscaping we are having planted! I hope it will be as beautiful as I imagine.

Wedding at our house has gone from 25 or so people to around 70. Yikers! I don't even know that many people!

Need to put a little more effort into my work ethic. I've been a slacker lately.

The new slate on our screened-in porch is looking fabulous! Next step, grout.

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

Haven't posted any shoes in a while. Must change that!

Quote for the Day

There are two kinds of secrets,

secrets we hide from others

and secrets we hide from ourselves.

-Frank Warren

Freewrite - Footnote

The array of books on the shelves left her wondering how so many ideas could fit into such a small place. She reached for a tattered copy of an old volume once used by her grandfather to put her to sleep on cold, stormy nights. Flipping though, she saw a handwritten footnote. A comment scrawled on the side of a torn page. "Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He quiets the child and lets the storm rage." Her grandfather's handwriting stared back at her with such poignancy, her eyes pricked with tears too long held back. She didn't realize how much she missed him or what an effect those story filled nights had on her life. Here she sits, years later realizing that some of life's greatest lessons were taught to her as a small child, scared of the relenting rain and crashing thunder just outside her window. How could she ever thank him for taking the time to sooth her frayed nerves and shaking soul? What gift could she give him now? Pass on these words, these stories of adventure and patience to your own child. Teach him how peace can be found even in the most unruly of places. Let him know that he is never truly alone, if he simply seeks the Light. What better gift is there than that?

Patience

My patience is running so thin recently. I just want to take people by the shoulders and viciously shake them screaming "Stop being an idiot and figure it out yourself. You're not a child!!" So I take a deep breath and listen to some waves and try to go to my happy place. Then my phone rings or an email pops up and I'm back in reality.

Perhaps it's the lack of sleep, or the 4 new kittens, or the never-ending doctor's appointments, or planning the wedding, or the 50 hour work weeks, or the 80 mile commute, or the OB appointments, or J always being on the road, or the fatigue, or the stress, or the bills, or the nausea, or the incessant questions for answers they already know if they would take one second and use their own brains instead of picking at mine (and my phone rings with one right now!), or the nightmares, or the self-doubt of can I really do this what the hell am I thinking, or the metallic taste that been in my mouth for weeks, or worrying why do I randomly pass out and what if it happens while I'm driving, or the overwhelming workload, or the thunderstorms, or the two downed trees in my yard, or the huge pile of brush that keeps growing and needs to be burned, or the kitchen floor that's not quite right, or my squeaking serpentine belt, or shaking tire, or expired warranty...or perhaps this is just life and I should be grateful I'm surviving as well as I am. Thanks for the vent, it's freeing.

What is Meditation?

To meditate is to ask questions, to think, to be honest about what we see, to listen to our intuition, and to desire an answer to our deepest questions. To meditate is to be honest about what we see outside and inside and reject what is less true.
-Shawn Nevins

Me Too!!!

When the world seems to drag by and weigh on my shoulders

I seek refuge in smooth thoughts and deep breaths

Elusive peace flees from my grasping fingers

Like reaching for smoke in a fog

Sounds of tinkling water and the hum of bees sing to me

I search for the quiet of a calm mind

Quote for the Day

I thought she was smart, but I was disappointed.

-EJ

Comic of the Day

Not all heroes carry swords. My hero carries a guitar.

Something Positive

After fighting some sort of sinus/respriratory infection this past week, I decided I need some positivity in my life, before heading back to bed again.

Things I'm Grateful For:

1. A warm bed to sleep in
2. Food to eat
3. A man who loves me and takes extra good care of me when I'm not feeling so hot
4. A job with paid sick days
5. White Christmases
6. The snowman in my front yard
7. A dog who always seems to pick me
8. NyQuil
9. Clean air
10. Good night kisses

Really!?

Deck the halls with boughs of holly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Tis the season to be jolly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Don we now our ga.."bright" apparel, WHAT!?!
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Troll the ancient Yule tide carol,
But not before we change the words to fit our current overwhelming politically correct facism
Fa la la la la, la la la la.


I hate Tolerance.

Return to Rebel Corner

Google says...

Every few years, and completely for entertainment purposes, I will search the words 'Emily is' in Google and see what I am.

Here are some excerpts from a story titled "EMILY is a Robot Lifeguard That Floats", with my comments in red. Enjoy!

We’d like to introduce you to EMILY, but as you can see from the image below, she’s not all that attractive (in a non-robot sort of way). Hey!! WTH! Watch it Bud!

EMILY isn’t the name of the next supermodel-turned-lifeguard. Damn! I was so looking forward to my future as the next Pamela Anderson.

...as you might suspect, EMILY’s job is only to save lives. I'm a superhero!

Thanks to the designers, EMILY will be fully self-operational soon enough. When she is, she’ll be no longer tethered to her operators, but instead will utilize sonar technology! Apparently "self-operational" means that I'll be able to talk to whales! Another super-power for the list!

Once EMILY finds someone she needs to save, she can make her way over to them at a top speed of 28 mph. Not quite faster than a speeding bullet, but not too shabby.

The designers intend to have the fully realized version of EMILY ready to go next year, and intend to sell it for somewhere in the ballpark of $3,500. That's it!? That's all I'm worth in this world!? Not even a firm $3500, just in the ballpark. Recession, I tell you!

We have no idea what she may look like, but obviously the developers (and EMILY) do, so that’s good. Glad to hear that someone knows what I look like. I'd hate to be another faceless robot lifeguard. They all look the same to me!

Truths for Mature Humans

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...(again).

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Boots I'm FALLing For...

Apricot Trees

Sweet blossoms filled with skittering bees cover the apricot trees in my grandfather’s backyard orchard. Many times have we played Pirates, Cops & Robbers, Hide & Seek, Tag or whatever game a young mind can create on the spur of the moment. What a fantastic world can be created and enjoyed running amongst nectar heavy air and deep green grass.

Looking back on those carefree days, I wonder where that free spirit has gone. Is she somewhere inside of me? Does she come out to play as I frolic with my dogs in my new backyard? I hope to renew that sweet spirit, so full of hope and ambition. Far away from the weary realities of this heavy life.

There is spectacular beauty in each day, from the simple perfect leaf to cotton candy clouds of an afternoon thunderstorm. May we each envelope the wondrous world around and seek to find that inner child inside us all.

Yeah, Um, Ok.

The world is full of splashy billboards and cleverly marketed circus peanuts.
Even with my Phantom necklace and bedazzled Vicki's pants, I'm feeling a bit blah today.
Perhaps too much yard work and not enough sushi could be causing my case of the Monday's, but I have more on my mind than manual labor and raw fish.
My teeth are moving south and, unfortunately, so is my butt. I'm glad for one, not so much the other.
The amount of work on my desk is outwaying any idea of running tourist around Boston. But... If my laptop won't cooperate, I may have no choice but to act like some Chinese national, proudly wearing my trolley sticker and snapping pics like a non-pro.
That reminds me, I need to get my car inspected so I can be legal again and not worry about being arrested in DC. Not the worst place to get arrested, I assure you.
One day I plan to organize a small bedroom into my own little arts and crafts studio. Oh, a girl can dream.
Just when you think things have disappeared for good, they show up again in photo's you forgot about. Please keep me away from AquaNet.
The phone rings, the email dings, the paper weighs, the drop-ins stay, the issues grow, the powers know, the money slims, the bills spill.

Thinks I'm Thoughting About

I look around me at the nutshell lives of those in my immediate area and see chaos, order, stress, diets, fires, vacations, children, planets and studying. I wonder what others see when they put my life in a nutshell?

I've been researching and reading about meditation techniques and have taken miniature baby steps in reducing the stress in my life and in my mind. (check this out)

I add the 'in my mind' because the creation of stress is purely psychological. Yes it does manifest itself in physical form, like my tight shoulders and headaches, but it is not a tangible thing you can hold in your hand. We create stress in our minds and allow it to cause us physical pain. I wonder why we do that? Is it some inherent masochistic desire or a genetic demand that allows us to understand the weight an importance of daily life occurrences? Either way, my shoulders are still sore and I'm tired of eating Tylenol for breakfast!

As I work toward reducing stress in my life and mind, I've come to realize that meditation may be a possible solution. From Biblical recommendations; "Meditate upon my Word" to historic and cultural significance of Gandhi and the Maharishi, to classrooms in Detroit with 20 minute meditation breaks, I feel this road not taken may be the one I would like to walk.

The main issue I have been facing in my recent attempts is my severe inability to quiet my mind. One of the goals of meditation is to empty your mind of all cluttered thoughts and allow higher connections to be made. I struggle with the emptying and quieting. It's like telling me to 'just go to sleep'. How? How do you turn your brain off? How do you stop thinking? That is what I am striving to learn and practice. I do not think this will be a quick or easy thing to learn. But I do look forward to the experience.

Here's to quiet minds and greater levels of peace and understanding :o)

Of Course

Why is the sun so sunny,

the moon so moony?

Why do the stars twinkle in the starry sky?

Why is the wind so windy,

the cold so cold?

Why is the silence so silent?

The heat, so hot it burns.

How is the air so airy,

the breeze so breezy?

What keeps the streams, streaming?

The waves, waving?

The tides turning?

Who made the trees so tall,

their green so green?

Who taught the birds their song,

the crickets their crick?

Who built the mountains so mighty,

the canyons so deep?

Who made me, Me?

God, of course.

What Home Means to Me

Past the paint and trim, beyond the appliances and countertops lies a peace and comfort that can only come from one little word, Home. That small word concocts whirling images of weeknight family dinners, crazy holiday gatherings, messy bedrooms and the smell of cookies baking. It's a word I never really understood, but desperately wanted. Home was something far away for me, not ever my current living situation.

Having moved a running total of 24 times in my lifetime, I have experience with living situations. From tiny apartments to converted basements and friends couches, I've been there and done that. I've learned that 'house' does not equal 'Home'. House is temporary, with no real emotion or comfort connected to it. Since I've only lived in few actual stick-built houses, I never had the chance to connect to any of them. I have that chance now.

For you Harry Potter fans, remember in the first book or movie when Harry stood before the mirror that showed the deepest desire of his heart? He saw his family that he had never known. Ron Weasley saw himself as the most successful of his brothers. I've pondered on that mirror many times. I've wondered what it would show me. What is the deepest desire of my heart? Certainly not fame or wealth as I disdain both, so what could it be? Did I want a large family, like Harry? Did I want success, as Ron did? What would I see if I looked at the deepest desire of my heart?

It wasn't until I knelt in the empty living room of our little white country home, asking God to bless our home, that I finally realized what that deep desire had been. A Home. A real home full of comfort, love and matching furniture. A place I could be proud to invite my friends over to and show off. A place I could put my feet up and relax. A place I looked forward to dusting and wiping, sweeping and mopping and enjoying the shine of clean. A place we could raise a family and grow together. A place I never had to leave, never had to pack up and drive away from. A place where I feel safe and secure and, finally, feel like I'm home.

As a child I would always draw pictures of my image of Home. A crayon drawing of a two story house with a steep pitched roof and three windows, 1 up & 2 down. A large tree with a swing and a hose extending into a kids pool in the yard. I live in that drawing now, I just need some kids in the pool! I understand why I always drew the same picture, it was the deepest desire of my heart, I just didn't know it yet. To have a real home and share it with my family. Loud and messy, or calm and quite, it doesn't matter as long as it's home.

Years ago, my mother had a keychain that read "Home is where you hang your keys." I now have a place for my keys. And yes, Mom, I kept that keychain. It has a special place in my heart, and in my home.

Random Thought of the Day

When you get excited about fancy paperclips, you know your day is pretty boring.

Pic of the Day

This Time Last Year...

This time last year I decided to give someone a try. My first impression of his uncapitalized name on that personality profile website left much to be desired. When I started looking forward to receiving emails from him, I knew there was more than just an odd name and a Harley. The first time we talked on the phone, we rambled on for 4 hours.

We talked every night for about two weeks, hours and hours on end. Our discussions ranged from likes and dislikes, spiritual and religious beliefs, aspirations and dreams, family and marriage desires, musts and wont's, goals and fears, funny stories and off-color jokes, all the way back to where we came from and how we got to where we are today. Our connection grew through those late night talks and I could feel our spirits reaching out to each other.

J. will be happy to tell you about our first date and how he was the back-up plan, which is not my version. His version of this story is so much more colorful than mine. He did introduce me to a dead terrorist and won my heart through laughter. We spent every day together that first weekend and I was made official by meeting his friends and going to the first race of the season. Two broken ribs, torn cartilage and a date with a cop later and I decided J. just might be the one.

Parked in front of a Jack in the Box with their deliciously artery clogging tacos of death, I asked J. if he would like to be my boyfriend. Yes, I really did! I can still hear his voice on the phone, laughing, "Be your boyfriend?! Yeah, I guess I could do that."

That was one year ago today. It's been a wild ride full of new love, adventures galore, mud and 'nanner pudding, last seat on roller coasters and more sushi than I know what to do with. We're about to buy a gorgeous house and make it a home. I can't wait to start this new chapter of our life together. I've never been happier and felt more like myself.

Thank you, Baby, for teaching me that it's OK to be me and it's OK to want what I want. For loving me despite myself and for being such an amazing example to me. I love you more than I know how to express and believe that every step of my life has led me to you. You truly are My Heart. Happy Anniversary! I love you!

Shoes because...Like I need a reason.

Can we say YUMMY?!

One Smart Squirrrel

My father used to say; "There are old squirrels and there are dumb squirrels, but there are no old, dumb squirrels."

Today, I saw a mighty smart squirrel. He ran up the telephone pole on one side of the street, tightroped across the street on the powerline, and came down the pole on the far side. Never once was he in danger of steelbelted death by speeding rubber. Here's a toast to a long life for one smart squirrel.

A Backyard Wedding?

We close on our house April 19th, and a backyard, home-grown, country wedding sounds just right. 50 or so of our closest friends and family enjoying our new home and celebrating our new life together. I've been reading blogs on thrifty weddings, garden weddings, backyard BBQ wedding, antique & vintage weddings and they all have tons of real life appeal. I'm excited about planning this To-Do and know that even if everything falls apart and we end up in the garage cuz it rained, at least I'll be with the people I love, and married to the man I'm head-over-heels for. Isn't that all that matters?

Who Woulda Thunk It?

Having spent the last few days in a mental funk and wasted far too many minutes deciphering my meager finances, I am led to recall that I am incredibly powerless and what should happen will in fact happen whether I help it along or not. More often than not, my helping is actually a hinderance, and God has to kick me to the curb and smack me around a bit to make the best thing happen in my life. Not to say that God is a mean bully who pushes folks around. It's just that I am very stubborn and pig-headed and don't deal very well when things don't go my way. He has to be a bit more forceful with me than some of the other kids.

He does work miracles and my life is coming together nicely, as it would have it, without my intervention. He is giving me the house I love, the man I love and the job I love. Not too shabby.

Feels Like Home to Me

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me

It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me

It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

Look at the middle picture, see those little trees way in the background? They're not so little, they're just 5 1/2 acres away. And all of it's mine.

Updates for a Wednesday

• May have found "The Dress", now just have to find who designed it. Easier said than done.
• House we want has come down $10k in price. Wahoo!!
• Going to my first bridal show on Saturday. Might make it more real for me.
• My new office is pretty stinking cool!!
• Realizing how much I miss old friends. Need to keep in better contact, if I can.
• New project at work. Love to start things from scratch and figure them out as I go along.

Quote for the Day

Life isn't about waiting

for the storm to pass,

it's about learning to dance in the rain.

Just a Thought

She sits on my lap and pretends to read with me. What do her eyes see?

ToDoToDoToDoToDo...

1. Set a Date
2. Plan Our Wedding
3. Buy a Dress
4. Reserve Reception Location
5. Get House Loan Started
6. Get Downpayment in Place
7. Flowers
8. Caterer
9. Music
10. Decorate Office
11. Convince Mom to come here and make my cake
12. Get Dress Alterations
13. Limo?
14. Invitations
15. Decorations
16. Guest List
17. Work
18. Sleep
19. Eat
20. Fall in Love All Over Again!

PostSecret

I was inspired by the saying on a PostSecret postcard today. It gave me hope when my heart is heavy.

Spring is coming, and we will make it.

Don't Ask Me Out For Lunch. I'm Paying Off My Credit Cards

I have finally sat down and created an interactive budget for myself. It's something I have dabbled with for years, but never actually completed. Now that I'm more Excel savvy, I created a three tab spreadsheet with my monthly budget, which paycheck pays which bills and my debt snowball schedule. It's already helping me tremendously, just by thinking "What category is this going to go in?" before I spend money. The fact that my happy little spreadsheet will hold me accountable for my debit card and ATM relationships has kept me in line this month. I've also been able to pay over $1000 towards my debt snowball!

If "Debt Snowball" is a term you are unfamiliar with, it works like this:

• Write down each and every debt you owe, outside of home expenses and utilities. Mine include 2 credit cards, a time-share and my car.
• Break down highest to lowest balance, interest rates, monthly payments.
• For me, my highest interest rate was also my lowest balance so I chose to pay that off first (we'll call it Debt 1).
• I pay the minimum payment on my remaining three debts and all discretionary cash on Debt 1 (this is over and above the minimum payment).
• Once Debt 1 is paid off, I roll my entire Debt 1 payment plus the minimum payment for Debt 2 to pay off Debt 2. And so on and so on until all debts are paid off.
• Once I am debt free, I will begin building my emergency fund. 3-6 months of expenses. Without my debt payments, my monthly expenses are pretty low.
• I will also max out my 401K and fully fund my Roth IRA.

My goal for 2010 is to pay off my two credit cards, time-share and most of my car. The car won't be fully paid off until halfway thru 2011, but I'll be in a much better financial situation before then.

So don't ask me out to lunch. I'm paying off my credit cards.

Jesus is the Reason for the Season!

As we bustle about driving here and driving there, buying this and buying that, let us remember the real reason for this joyous season. Celebration of the birth of our Saviour, Jesus Christ. Whenever his actual birthday may be, this is when we celebrate God's greatest gift to Man. His chosen Son, the Saviour of the world.

No matter who you are or what you've done, Jesus loves you and will stand with you through all your life. You do not need to be alone. He is always there with open arms, full of love and forgiveness. What joy it is to know that I have been forgiven and start each day as a new person.

I am so thankful to my Saviour for choosing to come to this Earth to live and die for me. If I were the only person on the Earth, He still would have come for me. As we visit with family and tear into our presents, remember that God gave us our most precious gift, his precious Son.
Merry Christmas to all!

Engaged!

We're Engaged!

Questions I Will Probably Never Know the Answer To

..At Least Not in This Life.

1. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
2. Why are there no 'B' batteries? Were they bad and sent away to the battery refugee camp, never to be heard from again?
3. Why are yawns contagious? Sometimes just thinking about yawning makes me yawn..like right now.
4. I live in a neat and clean 1 bedroom apartment and do my own laundry. Where the @&*! do my missing socks go?!?
5. Why does 'sour' cream have an expiration date? It's already gone bad!
6. Why do we hiccup? Cuz they suck.
7. Why are cute women's shoes always so painful to wear? I think they are designed by men as a way to keep women in bondage.
8. Has anyone ever got the skinny white ceramic dog that's always in the Wheel of Fortune prize showcase? It's been 15 years! Obviously no one wants the damn thing, give it to Goodwill!
9. How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? I'll never know because as soon as I taste the Toostie Roll center, I throw it away.
10. How is baseball 'America's pastime' when more people watch NASCAR?
11. Where do all my pens go? They must be hanging out with my missing socks and lost B batteries.

Help Us Remember

Heavenly Father,
Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together.

Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love. Matt 5:44

It's sunny outside!

As the days get shorter and the nights longer, my mind wanders through fuzzy mazes of clues and pastures. Rolling along the path, absent from the world's prerequisite of supposed truths. I spell relief with a good book, warm slippers and kiss on the forehead from someone who spoils me with sweetness. Through imagined climate change, destructive and rebuilding wars, famine and pandemics, I linger in the doorway leading to true happiness and peace. Baby steps along the road of life and learning. Will I walk this way again?

Happy Halloween

It's a White Trash day!

When...

When the world seems to be closing in and my cube walls suffocate all sense of freedom and energy, I close my eyes and picture a smooth green hillside to my left, a small creek running along the line of trees on my right. Sounds of cool running water, tickling over stones as it smooths the edges off my mind. Velvet breezes rustle leaves and creak high reaching branches above. Soft sunshine bathes my skin and warms my soul.

I do not know if this place is an actual recollection of some physical location, or a realm my imagination created to allow my escape from reality. Either way, I love coming here.

Such a Kitty

Caution: May contain traces of drool...

www.engrish.com

My new favorite website!

A Place to Call Home

In the search for a house, what I'm really looking for is a place to call home. Having moved more times that I can count, I am not reveling in the thought of boxing up my belongings again. Yet, I am ashiver with anticipation at the possibilities that lay in front of me. A yard to tend, pictures to hang, walls to paint and real garage to park my car in. Frivolities of life that I covet.

Apartment dwelling does have it's positives. Need a new garbage disposal? Call the office and they install a new one that day, easy-peasy! Drunk neighbors laughing like banshee's under my window at 3 am on a Tuesday, not a perk. One mile commute to work, definitely on the plus side of my list. I will miss the ease of location and maintenance, but will love owning my own piece of the American Dream.

Quote for the Day

The sound of silence

Can be melodic

Or deafening

Oh How I Miss the Good Ol' Days!

OH NO!!!

Those Moments

There are those moments in life when you think, where do I go from here? What are my next steps? So many plans and hopes, wants and dreams run together to create a mishmash map of life. Though money does not drive me, it does grant a certain level of freedom. Each step is interconnected with the next, and last. Without at least some semblence of a plan we meander through this world, listing with the wind and social demands. I have such great ideas and wonderful desires for the future, but tomorrow stands in front of me. Stalwart and sure. It will appear whether I want it or not. What steps do I need to take to accomplish my wishes? Where do I go from here?

He really is!

2-Line Rhymes

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION
ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME
WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,
AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2.I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

5. I thought that I could love no other-
- that is until I met your brother.

6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

The Size of a Soul

How to measure the size of one's soul? It is measured by inches and feet, or ounces and pounds? Perhaps one can be measured by its acts, kind or cruel. Who would believe you if you were to tell them the weight of your soul? If it were at all possible to quantify our spirits, would that put a value on them?

If valued, then able to be bartered? If bartered, then marketed? If marketed, then increased demand for greater souls? With increased demand comes increased supply. Imagine of glut of souls available on the secondary market. What happens when the supply of a product far outpaces its demand? The value of that product shrinks, easy to get anywhere. No one wants it anymore. Unwanted souls, discarded and ignored.

No. Our souls are not weighted, nor are they measured. Each is priceless beyond recognition. We should not lose them so easily when another has sacrificed all for our right to keep them.

Part

To that he exclaimed, "You are nothing to me. Neither reality nor fiction. Your place is not with me. Move on and be gone."

What to do? Where to go now? With all the space this world has inside it, surely there is a parcel for me and my small soul.

Don't Ask

3 Letter Animals:

cat

dog

eel

rat

bat

emu

gnu

elk

yak

pug

fly

nit

ant

pig

cow

hog

egg

(if you do not support abortion, then you must believe that an egg is an animal)

Can you think of any more?

Quotes for the Day

Women and cats will do as they please.
Men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

Quote for the Day

When I started to look at what other people were doing,

that's when I got rattled.

When I focused on myself,

looking straight ahead,

I was able to succeed.

When you're too concerned about other people,

you get off balance.”

-Lisa Moris

Quote for the Day

Good does happen,

More than we are led to believe.

Phantom of the Opera

Saturday night J. and I had an amazing evening. Dinner Uptown at the romantic Monticello restaurant, then he took me to see Phantom of the Opera. I have been dying to see this show for many years. I had even once planned a trip to NYC to see it on Broadway. Now, I'm glad I didn't go. It was such a special night to spend with J. We had great conversation and enjoyed all the people watching. The show was astounding! What a wonderful experience it was to get all dressed up, spend the evening Uptown and see the longest running Broadway play.

J. especially liked the mechanics of the set and stage. How quickly they were able to change from one scene to another, smooth and unnoticable. The music was hypnotic and drew you in. There were laughs and thrills, excitement and sorrow. The story of the phantom still haunts me. How many of us wear a mask to hide our true selves? With J. I am finally removing my mask and revealing who I really am.

Soulmate

What is a soulmate? It is someone you can't live without? Someone you can completely be yourself with, with no fears or repercussions. That one person in all the world who was made just for you. When you can look back on your life and see how every step, every experience, every person has led you to this one. One out of billions, who knows you before you've actually met. The one who speaks your thoughts before you put them into words. Who sees the world through your eyes and understands you when you are confused in yourself. That certain individual who makes you feel completely at ease even with your most intimate thoughts, dreams and desires. When there is never a moment of shame or fear. That safety net and protection from the ills of the world. Those arms that offer comfort like you have never experienced before. The scent that drives your senses wild. The touch that speaks to your soul. The laughter that lightens the darkest night. The bond of friendship that grows stronger with each passing day. Looking forward to an entire life of love and companionship, joy and growth. What an amazing blessing and gift, to find my soulmate.

Song for the Day

Somebody

-Depeche Mode

I want somebody to share

Share the rest of my life

Share my innermost thoughts

Know my intimate details

Someone who'll stand by my side

And give me support

And in return

He'll get me support

He will listen to me

When I want to speak

About the world we live in

And life in general

Though my views may be wrong

They may even be perverted

He'll hear me out

And wont easily be converted

To my way of thinking

In fact he'll often disagree

But at the end of it all

He will understand me

I want somebody who cares

For me passionately

With every thought and

With every breath

Someone who'll help me see things

In a different light

All the things I detest

I will almost like

I dont want to be tied

To anyones strings

I've carefully trying to steer clear

Of those things

But when I'm asleep

I want somebody

Who will put their arms around me

And kiss me tenderly

Counting

I count.
Steps. Pencils. Rings. Drops. Ticking. Skittles.
Wonder why?

Once Upon a Time...

...A little girl actually had time to update her blog. But now that all her time is spent enjoying life she has to make sporadic updates like this:

• Serious countdown to my vacation, 2 more days!!
• Need to get my carpet cleaned
• Learning to like more fried food. Welcome to the South. Fried pickles and green tomatoes seem to be in my future.
• I have bought 5 new pairs of jeans in the past week, all very long. I spent $35 total. Sweet.
• Think I might become a biker chick.
• Lincolnton, NC is a pretty cute little town. I could live there, on a few acres near the river...
• J. is everything I've ever wanted and didn't know I could ask for.
• I love being in love.
• I have a single carry-on bag packed for 2 vacations totalling 17 days. And my cowboy boots are inside! Go me!
• Disneyland on my birthday!
• I need a tan.
• The humidity cometh.
• Need to spend more time reading my Scriptures.
• Sushi tomorrow with Miss S.
• Got my butt kicked at pool, 3 times in a row. I should take up bowling. Or archery.
• Don't forget my toothpaste!
• Double-check weather.com for Denver forecast.
• Hey Mom, never did get that email. Love you!
• Shell, can I sleep on your couch at least one night?
• I'll tell Mickey you all say Hi!

Darth Gardner

This topiary is now the ultimate power in the universe!

Hint Hint

Spending time

is a greater gift

than spending money.

It's Been a Minute...

...or 7 since I've updated here. There are times when I wonder if I have anything to say. Other times I type nothing because I know someone will actually read it.

I went on my first Harley ride this weekend. We took two-lane roads to Lake Lure and Chimney Rock. Lake Lure is where Dirty Dancing was filmed. It was a beautiful day Saturday and I loved to feel the wind on my skin and the sun beat down on me. I could smell the fresh cut grass and especially the cow pastures we rode past. The last part did make me homesick for the ranch, as did stratling the iron horse for 200 miles.

I better get used to that again, since I'll be at the ranch for 2 weeks this summer. It's really less than a month away! Oh my gosh, I just got very excited!! Disneyland on my birthday, then horses and cows for two straight weeks. A little bit of heaven.

That's enough for now.

Happy Easter!!

A Whole New World

I've recently been on a search for new things to do, places to go, things to learn, food to eat and experiences to have. The last few weeks I have:

• Found a new hiking trail near my place
• Learned to bake chicken well
• Been to Bobcats basketball games
• Been to a Checkers hockey game
• Expanding my Art skills through painting
• Got Internet at home
• Caught up on LOST
• Started a basic workout regimen
• Met my new neighbors
• Made new friends
• Started Dumb Movie night

I have a list titled 101 Things To Do in Charlotte. I've already marked off about 10-12 things that I have done and have decided that I'll choose one at a time to experience.

I'm also contemplating getting a season pass to Carowinds (mini Magic Mountain for you CA folks). It's only about 15 minutes away and I heart roller coasters. Hopefully I'll be able to go to a real Nascar race and a Panthers game this year too. I have tons on my To-Do Wish List, I'm excited for the journey. What's on your To-Do Wish List?

Cute Flats!

I have been more attracted to flats recently for multiple reasons.

Here are a few that caught my eye.

These ones look like little girls shoes, I love them!

I think they would look so cute with a denim skirt.

Material Girl in a Material World?

There are times when I am honestly astounded at the concerns and desires of others. I do not consider myself a materialistic person. Now, don't get me wrong, I do enjoy nice things and understand their worth. What irks me is when a person is continually driven by the bigger, better, best paradigm. I have been told by others that carrying a large amount of debt is not a concern as long as they have everything they want.

Perhaps I fall more into the 'saver' category, which may be why I have trouble accepting this type of mindset (though I do spend lavishly on my shoes). It also stems from my upbringing. I was taught to be very thrifty and not wasteful. Use it until it is unusable, then find another use for it. If an item is broken, marred or missing some cosmetic aspect it is certainly not unusable and does not need to be replaced with the newer, more expensive model. Just use the dang thing as it is and be happy you have one at all.

When I was younger and less knowledgeable of the effects of outlandish credit items, I did fall into the instant gratification trap. Years later, I am working hard to pay off those debts and have very little to show for that time of carefree spending.

That's another thing. I am doing my best not to be a pack rat. I strive to pare down my clutter as much as possible and donate all that I no longer have a use for. Also a nice help now that I have so few tax write-offs. Example: I have a fixed number of coat hangers. I will not buy new coat hangers. In order for me to buy a new item of clothing, I must donate or give away an existing item. Take something down in order to put something else back up. I seem to always have a bag of clothes and general household items being gathered for donation to the local Goodwill Store. This works for me.

I hope to be able to teach my future children these same ideals. I understand that some may not find my ideas to be ideal at all, yet I do. I believe that if something is earned it is more valuable. I believe that if you truly want something, you will work hard to attain it. I believe things that are easily gained are just as easily dismissed. I believe that rocks can sometimes be the best souvenir.

What Matters Most

-By Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine and your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine and your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray you own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it's not pretty, everyday and if you can source your own life from it's presence.

I want to know if y0u can live with failure, your and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me whom you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

I doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Random Picture of the Day

Darth, old boy, what are you doing?

Quote for the Day

Who looks not with compassion

sees not what the eyes of compassion see.

-Tibetan saying

Nice View!

So, I'm in a new apartment. My first floor apartment flooded and I was moved to a nice new 3rd floor apartment. It has vaulted ceilings and a view of the pool. hauling my stuff up 3 flights of stairs is not so fun, but it's good for my thighs so I shouldn't complain too much. I do enjoy the view of the pool and watching the kids play. The kitties also like the balcony and roll in the sunshine.

Sometimes...

Sometimes I eat cereal for dinner.

Sometimes I use baby oil instead of lotion.

Sometimes I stay at work until 10 o'clock because it's better than going home.

Sometimes I wonder if other people are thinking about me too.

Sometimes I hope for the best, and wish I could prepare for the worst. I'm not so good at that last part.

Sometimes I crave Ramen noodles.

Sometimes I miss people so bad it hurts.

Sometimes I wish my cat would just find a place to sit and stay there.

Sometimes I wonder what I will do with all the toys in my cube.

Sometimes I wish I was a full time student on a full-ride scholarship, and could just learn for a living.

Sometimes I think I deserve better. Sometimes not.

Quote for the Day

Your life is an occassion.

Rise to it.

-Mr. Magorium's

Wonder Emporium

PostSecret, I Love You

Oh Liberals, who will you blame now?

Perhaps you'll finally have to be responsible for your own actions.

Not likely, but I can dream.

As Days Go By

It's been a little while since I've updated my faithful reader as to my happenings. So here's the rundown:

Started a new Art class. Basic Acrylics, going shopping for my supplies tonite.

Andi had a great birthday party. It was nice to see her so happy and surrounded by friends.

Three months and still going well.

Trying to decide if I should send Valentines flowers...

I love having a clean house!

The purging continues. Where did I get so much stuff?

Learning to ask for what I want, it's slow and steady.

Plans this month: Hinder at Amos' South End!!

Work is going really well. Busy busy busy.

Have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning. I go to sleep way too late!

Went to the circus! It's still fun, even for grown-up kids!

Ladies 8-Ball team is in 1st Place! If we continue to win, we're going to Vegas Baby!

If I get laid off, I'm going in the Air Force.

Goals for 2009: Pay off two credit cards

Need to wash the salt and dirt off my car.

No girls, I don't wear lipstick and I'm not concerned about that at all.

Need to get my haircut.