The Sheet Set Cult Mystery

In my quest for the perfect fitted sheet and pillowcases, I encountered a startling mystery. You cannot purchase a lone fitted sheet! Why, you ask? Because the fitted sheet makers of the world have decided in their world domineering committee's, that a person has no reason to buy a lone fitted sheet. Hence, we a forced to purchase an entire sheet set including: 1 fitted sheet, 1 flat sheet, 2 pillowcases.

To many this is not a problem at all, as they use the entire set. I am not one of these sheep, following the Sheet Set Cult blindly. I do not use the flat sheet. It has no purpose in my life. I have very nice, ultrasoft sable-like blankets against my skin when I cuddle into bed. Not a cold flat sheet. Why would I want cold sheet on both sides of me? I already have cold fitted sheet on the mattress side, I should not be forced to have cold flat sheet on the other side as well. This is a free country! If I choose to sleep with ultrasoft blanket, or sheepskin or burlap against my skin, that is my choice dagnabbit!!

Yet the Sheet Set Cult demands that I purchase their flat sheet. Why would I buy something I have no use for? I am a very thrifty person and choose not to spend my money on things that are useless to me. Why, oh, why can I not buy a lone fitted sheet?

Where did this Sheet Set conspiracy come from? Cotton farmers to drive up demand? Textile companies to increase production? Retailers to grow their bottom-line? It's a global conspiracy, I tell you! Well, I for one will not be duped by the Sheet Set Cult. I will not pay for a flat sheet that will sit folded and unused on my shelf, gathering dust and using up valuable space. I will not! I will Not! I will NOT!

If anyone knows how to obtain a new single fitted sheet, please share this revelation with me. In the meantime, I will be continuing my search for the perfect lone fitted sheet. Hi-ho Silver! Away!