Something Positive

After fighting some sort of sinus/respriratory infection this past week, I decided I need some positivity in my life, before heading back to bed again.

Things I'm Grateful For:

  1. A warm bed to sleep in
  2. Food to eat
  3. A man who loves me and takes extra good care of me when I'm not feeling so hot
  4. A job with paid sick days
  5. White Christmases
  6. The snowman in my front yard
  7. A dog who always seems to pick me
  8. NyQuil
  9. Clean air
  10. Good night kisses



Deck the halls with boughs of holly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Tis the season to be jolly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Don we now our ga.."bright" apparel, WHAT!?!
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Troll the ancient Yule tide carol,
But not before we change the words to fit our current overwhelming politically correct facism
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

I hate Tolerance.


Google says...

Every few years, and completely for entertainment purposes, I will search the words 'Emily is' in Google and see what I am.

Here are some excerpts from a story titled "EMILY is a Robot Lifeguard That Floats", with my comments in red. Enjoy!

We’d like to introduce you to EMILY, but as you can see from the image below, she’s not all that attractive (in a non-robot sort of way). Hey!! WTH! Watch it Bud!

EMILY isn’t the name of the next supermodel-turned-lifeguard. Damn! I was so looking forward to my future as the next Pamela Anderson. you might suspect, EMILY’s job is only to save lives. I'm a superhero!

Thanks to the designers, EMILY will be fully self-operational soon enough. When she is, she’ll be no longer tethered to her operators, but instead will utilize sonar technology! Apparently "self-operational" means that I'll be able to talk to whales! Another super-power for the list!

Once EMILY finds someone she needs to save, she can make her way over to them at a top speed of 28 mph. Not quite faster than a speeding bullet, but not too shabby.

The designers intend to have the fully realized version of EMILY ready to go next year, and intend to sell it for somewhere in the ballpark of $3,500. That's it!? That's all I'm worth in this world!? Not even a firm $3500, just in the ballpark. Recession, I tell you!

We have no idea what she may look like, but obviously the developers (and EMILY) do, so that’s good. Glad to hear that someone knows what I look like. I'd hate to be another faceless robot lifeguard. They all look the same to me!

Truths for Mature Humans

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...(again).

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.


Apricot Trees

Sweet blossoms filled with skittering bees cover the apricot trees in my grandfather’s backyard orchard. Many times have we played Pirates, Cops & Robbers, Hide & Seek, Tag or whatever game a young mind can create on the spur of the moment. What a fantastic world can be created and enjoyed running amongst nectar heavy air and deep green grass.

Looking back on those carefree days, I wonder where that free spirit has gone. Is she somewhere inside of me? Does she come out to play as I frolic with my dogs in my new backyard? I hope to renew that sweet spirit, so full of hope and ambition. Far away from the weary realities of this heavy life.

There is spectacular beauty in each day, from the simple perfect leaf to cotton candy clouds of an afternoon thunderstorm. May we each envelope the wondrous world around and seek to find that inner child inside us all.


Yeah, Um, Ok.

The world is full of splashy billboards and cleverly marketed circus peanuts.
Even with my Phantom necklace and bedazzled Vicki's pants, I'm feeling a bit blah today.
Perhaps too much yard work and not enough sushi could be causing my case of the Monday's, but I have more on my mind than manual labor and raw fish.
My teeth are moving south and, unfortunately, so is my butt. I'm glad for one, not so much the other.
The amount of work on my desk is outwaying any idea of running tourist around Boston. But... If my laptop won't cooperate, I may have no choice but to act like some Chinese national, proudly wearing my trolley sticker and snapping pics like a non-pro.
That reminds me, I need to get my car inspected so I can be legal again and not worry about being arrested in DC. Not the worst place to get arrested, I assure you.
One day I plan to organize a small bedroom into my own little arts and crafts studio. Oh, a girl can dream.
Just when you think things have disappeared for good, they show up again in photo's you forgot about. Please keep me away from AquaNet.
The phone rings, the email dings, the paper weighs, the drop-ins stay, the issues grow, the powers know, the money slims, the bills spill.


Thinks I'm Thoughting About

I look around me at the nutshell lives of those in my immediate area and see chaos, order, stress, diets, fires, vacations, children, planets and studying. I wonder what others see when they put my life in a nutshell?

I've been researching and reading about meditation techniques and have taken miniature baby steps in reducing the stress in my life and in my mind. (check this out)

I add the 'in my mind' because the creation of stress is purely psychological. Yes it does manifest itself in physical form, like my tight shoulders and headaches, but it is not a tangible thing you can hold in your hand. We create stress in our minds and allow it to cause us physical pain. I wonder why we do that? Is it some inherent masochistic desire or a genetic demand that allows us to understand the weight an importance of daily life occurrences? Either way, my shoulders are still sore and I'm tired of eating Tylenol for breakfast!

As I work toward reducing stress in my life and mind, I've come to realize that meditation may be a possible solution. From Biblical recommendations; "Meditate upon my Word" to historic and cultural significance of Gandhi and the Maharishi, to classrooms in Detroit with 20 minute meditation breaks, I feel this road not taken may be the one I would like to walk.

The main issue I have been facing in my recent attempts is my severe inability to quiet my mind. One of the goals of meditation is to empty your mind of all cluttered thoughts and allow higher connections to be made. I struggle with the emptying and quieting. It's like telling me to 'just go to sleep'. How? How do you turn your brain off? How do you stop thinking? That is what I am striving to learn and practice. I do not think this will be a quick or easy thing to learn. But I do look forward to the experience.

Here's to quiet minds and greater levels of peace and understanding :o)


Of Course

Why is the sun so sunny,
the moon so moony?

Why do the stars twinkle in the starry sky?

Why is the wind so windy,
the cold so cold?

Why is the silence so silent?

The heat, so hot it burns.

How is the air so airy,
the breeze so breezy?

What keeps the streams, streaming?
The waves, waving?
The tides turning?

Who made the trees so tall,
their green so green?

Who taught the birds their song,
the crickets their crick?

Who built the mountains so mighty,
the canyons so deep?

Who made me, Me?

God, of course.

What Home Means to Me

Past the paint and trim, beyond the appliances and countertops lies a peace and comfort that can only come from one little word, Home. That small word concocts whirling images of weeknight family dinners, crazy holiday gatherings, messy bedrooms and the smell of cookies baking. It's a word I never really understood, but desperately wanted. Home was something far away for me, not ever my current living situation.

Having moved a running total of 24 times in my lifetime, I have experience with living situations. From tiny apartments to converted basements and friends couches, I've been there and done that. I've learned that 'house' does not equal 'Home'. House is temporary, with no real emotion or comfort connected to it. Since I've only lived in few actual stick-built houses, I never had the chance to connect to any of them. I have that chance now.

For you Harry Potter fans, remember in the first book or movie when Harry stood before the mirror that showed the deepest desire of his heart? He saw his family that he had never known. Ron Weasley saw himself as the most successful of his brothers. I've pondered on that mirror many times. I've wondered what it would show me. What is the deepest desire of my heart? Certainly not fame or wealth as I disdain both, so what could it be? Did I want a large family, like Harry? Did I want success, as Ron did? What would I see if I looked at the deepest desire of my heart?

It wasn't until I knelt in the empty living room of our little white country home, asking God to bless our home, that I finally realized what that deep desire had been. A Home. A real home full of comfort, love and matching furniture. A place I could be proud to invite my friends over to and show off. A place I could put my feet up and relax. A place I looked forward to dusting and wiping, sweeping and mopping and enjoying the shine of clean. A place we could raise a family and grow together. A place I never had to leave, never had to pack up and drive away from. A place where I feel safe and secure and, finally, feel like I'm home.

As a child I would always draw pictures of my image of Home. A crayon drawing of a two story house with a steep pitched roof and three windows, 1 up & 2 down. A large tree with a swing and a hose extending into a kids pool in the yard. I live in that drawing now, I just need some kids in the pool! I understand why I always drew the same picture, it was the deepest desire of my heart, I just didn't know it yet. To have a real home and share it with my family. Loud and messy, or calm and quite, it doesn't matter as long as it's home.

Years ago, my mother had a keychain that read "Home is where you hang your keys." I now have a place for my keys. And yes, Mom, I kept that keychain. It has a special place in my heart, and in my home.


Random Thought of the Day

When you get excited about fancy paperclips, you know your day is pretty boring.


This Time Last Year...

This time last year I decided to give someone a try. My first impression of his uncapitalized name on that personality profile website left much to be desired. When I started looking forward to receiving emails from him, I knew there was more than just an odd name and a Harley. The first time we talked on the phone, we rambled on for 4 hours.

We talked every night for about two weeks, hours and hours on end. Our discussions ranged from likes and dislikes, spiritual and religious beliefs, aspirations and dreams, family and marriage desires, musts and wont's, goals and fears, funny stories and off-color jokes, all the way back to where we came from and how we got to where we are today. Our connection grew through those late night talks and I could feel our spirits reaching out to each other.

J. will be happy to tell you about our first date and how he was the back-up plan, which is not my version. His version of this story is so much more colorful than mine. He did introduce me to a dead terrorist and won my heart through laughter. We spent every day together that first weekend and I was made official by meeting his friends and going to the first race of the season. Two broken ribs, torn cartilage and a date with a cop later and I decided J. just might be the one.

Parked in front of a Jack in the Box with their deliciously artery clogging tacos of death, I asked J. if he would like to be my boyfriend. Yes, I really did! I can still hear his voice on the phone, laughing, "Be your boyfriend?! Yeah, I guess I could do that."

That was one year ago today. It's been a wild ride full of new love, adventures galore, mud and 'nanner pudding, last seat on roller coasters and more sushi than I know what to do with. We're about to buy a gorgeous house and make it a home. I can't wait to start this new chapter of our life together. I've never been happier and felt more like myself.

Thank you, Baby, for teaching me that it's OK to be me and it's OK to want what I want. For loving me despite myself and for being such an amazing example to me. I love you more than I know how to express and believe that every step of my life has led me to you. You truly are My Heart. Happy Anniversary! I love you!

Shoes because...Like I need a reason.

Can we say YUMMY?!


One Smart Squirrrel

My father used to say; "There are old squirrels and there are dumb squirrels, but there are no old, dumb squirrels."

Today, I saw a mighty smart squirrel. He ran up the telephone pole on one side of the street, tightroped across the street on the powerline, and came down the pole on the far side. Never once was he in danger of steelbelted death by speeding rubber. Here's a toast to a long life for one smart squirrel.

A Backyard Wedding?

We close on our house April 19th, and a backyard, home-grown, country wedding sounds just right. 50 or so of our closest friends and family enjoying our new home and celebrating our new life together. I've been reading blogs on thrifty weddings, garden weddings, backyard BBQ wedding, antique & vintage weddings and they all have tons of real life appeal. I'm excited about planning this To-Do and know that even if everything falls apart and we end up in the garage cuz it rained, at least I'll be with the people I love, and married to the man I'm head-over-heels for. Isn't that all that matters?


Who Woulda Thunk It?

Having spent the last few days in a mental funk and wasted far too many minutes deciphering my meager finances, I am led to recall that I am incredibly powerless and what should happen will in fact happen whether I help it along or not. More often than not, my helping is actually a hinderance, and God has to kick me to the curb and smack me around a bit to make the best thing happen in my life. Not to say that God is a mean bully who pushes folks around. It's just that I am very stubborn and pig-headed and don't deal very well when things don't go my way. He has to be a bit more forceful with me than some of the other kids.

He does work miracles and my life is coming together nicely, as it would have it, without my intervention. He is giving me the house I love, the man I love and the job I love. Not too shabby.

Feels Like Home to Me

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

Look at the middle picture, see those little trees way in the background? They're not so little, they're just 5 1/2 acres away. And all of it's mine.


Updates for a Wednesday

  • May have found "The Dress", now just have to find who designed it. Easier said than done.
  • House we want has come down $10k in price. Wahoo!!
  • Going to my first bridal show on Saturday. Might make it more real for me.
  • My new office is pretty stinking cool!!
  • Realizing how much I miss old friends. Need to keep in better contact, if I can.
  • New project at work. Love to start things from scratch and figure them out as I go along.


Quote for the Day

Life isn't about waiting
for the storm to pass,
it's about learning to dance in the rain.


Just a Thought

She sits on my lap and pretends to read with me. What do her eyes see?


  1. Set a Date
  2. Plan Our Wedding
  3. Buy a Dress
  4. Reserve Reception Location
  5. Get House Loan Started
  6. Get Downpayment in Place
  7. Flowers
  8. Caterer
  9. Music
  10. Decorate Office
  11. Convince Mom to come here and make my cake
  12. Get Dress Alterations
  13. Limo?
  14. Invitations
  15. Decorations
  16. Guest List
  17. Work
  18. Sleep
  19. Eat
  20. Fall in Love All Over Again!



I was inspired by the saying on a PostSecret postcard today. It gave me hope when my heart is heavy.

Spring is coming, and we will make it.


Don't Ask Me Out For Lunch. I'm Paying Off My Credit Cards

I have finally sat down and created an interactive budget for myself. It's something I have dabbled with for years, but never actually completed. Now that I'm more Excel savvy, I created a three tab spreadsheet with my monthly budget, which paycheck pays which bills and my debt snowball schedule. It's already helping me tremendously, just by thinking "What category is this going to go in?" before I spend money. The fact that my happy little spreadsheet will hold me accountable for my debit card and ATM relationships has kept me in line this month. I've also been able to pay over $1000 towards my debt snowball!

If "Debt Snowball" is a term you are unfamiliar with, it works like this:
  • Write down each and every debt you owe, outside of home expenses and utilities. Mine include 2 credit cards, a time-share and my car.
  • Break down highest to lowest balance, interest rates, monthly payments.
  • For me, my highest interest rate was also my lowest balance so I chose to pay that off first (we'll call it Debt 1).
  • I pay the minimum payment on my remaining three debts and all discretionary cash on Debt 1 (this is over and above the minimum payment).
  • Once Debt 1 is paid off, I roll my entire Debt 1 payment plus the minimum payment for Debt 2 to pay off Debt 2. And so on and so on until all debts are paid off.
  • Once I am debt free, I will begin building my emergency fund. 3-6 months of expenses. Without my debt payments, my monthly expenses are pretty low.
  • I will also max out my 401K and fully fund my Roth IRA.

My goal for 2010 is to pay off my two credit cards, time-share and most of my car. The car won't be fully paid off until halfway thru 2011, but I'll be in a much better financial situation before then.

So don't ask me out to lunch. I'm paying off my credit cards.