New Shoes!!

Nordstom Rack is my new favorite store. I got 2, count them 2, new pairs of shoes in less than 20 minutes, one is pictures above. It was miraclulous! Any man who has ever been tortured by their woman and brought shoe shopping understands how miracluous it is for a woman to find 2 pairs of shoes in ANY store, nontheless, 2 pairs in 1 store in 20 minutes. My husband was speechless. I did try on about 20 pairs of shoes before I found my 2 new friends. He couldn't understand why it's so hard for women to buy shoes. I tried to explain to him that shoe makers are men. They do not comprehend how much pain is involved with actually wearing the shoes they design for women. I told him that shoe makers make me suffer by designing painful shoes, therefore, I must pass on the suffering to him, a man, by taking him with me shopping to suffer along with me. (This exchange made a another female shopper laugh in understanding).
The other miraculous thing about my amazing shoe discovery today, the above shoes are on my Amazon Wish List, but are currently unavailable. Unavailable no more, they are in my house now safe and snug. Today is a good day!


Insights for the New Year

Or, What I learned in 2006 that will help me in 2007...

  • Dry Cleaning is not a good business to get into. Ever.

  • Sushi is a wonderful invention.

  • I resolve to always try something before I decide whether I like it or not. Knowledge is power!

  • Blogging is a great outlet for creativity, venting and randomness

  • High heels are not impractical. Height is a good thing.

  • I resolve to learn to walk smoother in heels.

  • Working out is worth it. I like my butt the way it is.

  • I resolve to work out at least twice a week, every week.

  • Sleeping too much is not good.

  • Money does not grow on trees, and credit is hard earned. Both deserve greater respect and discipline.

  • My job is a blessing.

  • I resolve to work more efficiently and thoroughly at my job.

  • A testimony is a living thing and needs constant care and renewal to stay strong.

  • I resolve to work on my testimony in some way every day, ie. praying, reading my Scriptures, serving another, sharing what I have.

  • Paying off debt not only helps the credit score, it lowers the weight on my shoulders.

  • I resolve to make a personal effort to pay off my debt more quickly.

  • Mucking about in the past is about as effective as mucking about in anything else. All you get is covered in muck. Move on.

  • Reverse psychology works on husbands, just as well as it works on teenagers. I just need to convince my husband that I don't want he half wall completed or flooring in any form.

  • By telling someone "Thank you so much, I really appreciate your help." before they actually do what you want, is a GUARANTEE that it will get done.

  • Education is important. No matter what.

  • I resolve to complete all my assignments and school tasks on time and with extra effort.

  • Organize every needful thing. Get your house in order.

  • I resolve to Sort, Purge and Organize my home and all belongings room by room.

  • Learning new skills; such as cooking, fixing things, budgeting, software programs, sewing and patience will benefit me throughout my life.

  • Spending time, money and effort on yourself is not selfish, it is survival.

  • Open an online Savings account with a decent interest rate and have at least $100 a paycheck direct depositted into it, and 1/2 of all bonuses and extra money you receive throughout the year. Increase the deposit amount if you get a raise or payoff a credit card.

  • Develop a hobby you enjoy and can benefit others. I learned to knit and bead this year and gave away my creations as presents. People LOVE handmade items. They mean so much more.

  • Forgive everyone for eveything. This includes yourself. We have enough baggage, don't carry around extra.

  • Smile at strangers and see if you can make them laugh.

  • Always say Please, Thank You and Excuse Me.

  • Remember that everyone you see is a child of God and has chosen to follow the Saviour at least once. They deserve your respect. So do you.

  • Tell people what a great job they're doing, that you appreciate them and they deserve a raise. When you can, tell their boss how helpful they were. We can all use accolades and encouragement.

  • Leave BIG tips. Don't be cheap.

  • The beach is a wonderful place to walk and talk to God outloud.

  • Pay attention to your dreams, God speaks to you when you sleep.

  • When you say your prayers, listen at the end. That's when He answers you.

  • Be willing to volunteer and serve whenever you are asked. Life is too hard to not help when you can. Someday you will need help too.

  • Only you can make you happy. No one else will ever be able to do it for you.

  • Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Deeply.

Pickles and Peanuts

Clausen Mini Dills and Brachs Circus Peanuts are probably my two oddest and most favorite snack foods. I also love to snack Cheez-its, tortillas, grapes and Poore Brothers Habenero Chips. We will be having a Game Night-Bring Your Favorite Snack Food New Years Eve Party. I will be bringing mini-dills and circus peanuts, then toasting with Martinelli's Ah, I love game-nights!

Educate Yourself


Bora Bora Chapter 2


Chapter 2

Red and orange swaths streaked the sky as the blazing sun set over the Pacific. Travelling west meant that they flew directly into the sunset, Jade had never seen the sun set for so long. It felt like hours that she watched the colors change and dance as the blue ocean slipped quietly beneath them. The effect left her speechless and in awe of the beautiful world that had been created for her. Created for all of us.

The flight from LAX to Papeete had been routine and uneventful, except for the dramatic light show God put on outside. As the wheels touched down, she felt her heart jerk. Landings always worried her, almost as much as takeoffs. But she could relax now, she was in Tahiti. Exiting the plane onto the tarmac, she looked for the main gate to find directions for her island transfer to Bora Bora. She also, casually and non-chalantly, looked for the ballcap. Was someone meeting him at the airport? Surely, he did not travel all this way to go on vacation alone.

She saw the sign for Island Transfers and walked to the Customs gate. Getting through Customs was not as bad as she had feared, and the new stamp on her previously virgin passport made her smile. She was now officially a world traveler! Lugging her two bags and backpack through the small concourse to the waiting van, Jade vowed to learn to pack more efficiently for her future trips. She was going to become a pro at this if it killed her. The driver helped her with her bags and she copped a seat by the window. Four other tourists, both couples, were already seated.

The air was sultry and her light silk shirt and linen capri's clung to her moist skin. She didn't worry, she would be spending the next week in the cool blue water and lying on the sand in her new string bikini. Oh! Her friends will be so jealous of her tan when she gets home. Jade wondered if there was a place on the small island for her to go sans bikini and avoid those pesky tan lines.

She closed her eyes and saw herself lying nude on a white sand shore. Out of the cool, clear water came the tall, dark stranger. He still wore his ballcap, but nothing else. He stood over her for a moment, dripping the cool water on her hot skin. She laughed and pretended to pull away as he knelt in the sand, kissing her soft belly. His hand made his way up her thigh and the van driver asked if everyone would put on their seatbelts. What?

Rudely awakened from her short-lived fantasy, Jade opened her eyes and almost died. The tall, dark and handsome stranger in the ballcap was sitting in front of her on the van. He was leaning against the window facing inward in his seat toward the aisle. He smiled at her as she looked up. Blood burst into her cheeks as she choked on her words. She had just been thinking of this man naked, and here he sits right in front of her. He didn't need to be a mind-reader to see the embarrassment on her face. The questioning look he gave her spoke volumes.

"Long time, no see", he said playfully, nodding and smiling. His white teeth gleamed behind his deep red lips. "Yeah", was the smartest response she could muster, as she wished she could crawl into a hole and die! He had no idea of her lustful thoughts, yet her face and necked burned in humiliation as if she had spoken her fantasy directly to him.

What was wrong with her?! She had fantasized about other men before. She had talked dirty to more than one. And yet, this man made her feel like a schoolgirl. She pushed the image of a short plaid skirt and white thigh-highs out of her mind. Just in case he could read it. Casual, Jade. Cool, calm and collected. Pull yourself together woman! She drug her consciousness back and forced herself to calm down and relax. She counted to ten as she breathed in slowly, held it for the count of five and let it out with a slow count back down to 1. She opened her eyes to see him watching her.

"Does that lamaze stuff really work?" he asked. She laughed.

"It's not lamaze, silly." she said. "That's for when you have a baby. It's yoga breathing. And yes it does work, very nicely." Jade smiled warmly at his naive attempt at stimulating conversation.

"Oh, yoga, right. Not lamaze. I'll have to learn that. The yoga I mean, not the lamaze" He added coyly, "Maybe you could teach me."

His left eyebrow raised as he winked at her, and she swooned. She actually swooned. She didn't know she could do that, or even what swooning was until that moment. But that is the only word to describe the vertigo-like feeling of imbalance and lust that overtook her at his wink. She would have taken him right there on the vinyl seats of this tourist van if she could have. Not allowing her fantasies to grow again, Jade smiled knowingly and turned to her left to watch the Tahitian town pass by.

Tricking My Pen

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic

Tenth Grade brought MANY new experiences to me. I learned that you cannot trick your pen. What on earth am I talking about, you ask? As I sat in class, English class I believe, writing an essay, my mind began to wander. My wandering mind is not a new thing, but today my mind had some additional help in it's wandering. Some chemical help.

My mind wandered to the pen help tightly in my right hand. How did all the letters on my page fit into such a small pen. Were the letters like those expando dinosaur toys I played with as a kid? The ones you put in water and they grow 50x their original size? Did the letters expand once they hit the air and the paper? If they did expand once in contact with air, then that meant the letters were all packed inside my pen waiting to come out. But how did they know when to come out? Could my pen read my mind!?

That must be it! My pen could read my mind and knew what letter I was going to write next. What a smart pen! But how smart was it really? Could I trick my pen into writing a letter that I was not thinking? I had to know.

I decided to experiment (with so many things hahaha) focus, focus. I decided to experiment with my pen and test it. How smart is my pen? Can it read my mind? I began to think of the letter "e".
e, e, e, e, e, e, e, e, e, e, e eeeeeeee
then quickly wrote a "g". I did write a "g". My pen was not tricked. How can this be? Perhaps the letters were too similar. Perhaps I was not concentrating enough. I thought of another letter and quickly wrote a different letter on my paper. Foiled again!

I continued different experiments in tricking my pen, thinking of words and letters and numbers in insequential order, writing something as I think of something different. To no avail. The pen is truly mightier.

A strange ringing sound filled my ears. Movement to my left and right. What is going on? Oh no. The bell rang. I'm at school, in class. I have to turn in this piece of paper. Oh dear! I stare in fear the the scribbled mess in front of me. The top of the page shows three well constructed paragraphs of essay quality writing. Somewhere in the middle of the fourth paragraph, the chemicals took over and my pen drew all my attention.
Not only had I been thinking the above thoughts, I had been writing them down. Uh-oh.

When your mind is not your own, you do not think of cause and effect. You do not realize that your actions have any effect on anything else in the world. You are in your own world and nothing touches you, and you touch nothing else. If you put a full glass on the edge of a table, you will not realize that pushing it will make the glass fall and spill. Cause and effect do not exist.

Today I did not understand that if I gave my piece of paper to my teacher that they would read it. I did not understand that my paper was written proof of my extracuricular activities. I did not understand anything past the moment. I gave my paper to the teacher, with a blank stare and no expectation of anything. For why on earth would I need anything from anyone? I am my own, although my pen is smarter than I. I will think of this for many hours later, store it away for now.

The next day. The chemicals have worn off. I have to go to English class. Oh no. As I timidly sit down, awaiting the call to the principal's office, my teacher passes back the essays from yesterday. As she puts my sad scribbled piece of paper on my chair/desk, I see red ink. red ink is never a good sign (though I am not proposing we switch to purple ink to spare children's delicate sensibilities. Do you think the stock market gives a hoot about their sensibilities?! Hell NO!!!) What!?

I hold the piece of paper in my hands and read my doom.

"Good start but you lost me at the end".

Was this a joke? You lost me at the end!?!?! Are you @&$^_@!% kidding me?! Here I am screaming for help "I'M ON DRUGS!!!!" and all I get is "You lost me at the end". Real @&$!@&% observant public educator.

This is the reason my children will be going to private schools if I have to be homeless to pay for it!!


Candy Dish Conundrum

I am the employee with the obligatory candy dish on her desk. The original purpose of this offering was to entice my new coworkers to come visit me in cubie land, and get to know me as more than just an e-mail auto-signature. My plan worked out nicely, at first.

People came to talk to me and ate my candy. People came to see me and ate my candy. People grabbed some candy as they walked by and said hi. People ate all my gum when I was away from my desk. People started making requests for certain types of candy. People got upset when I did not have their favorite kind of candy. People told me I was on notice when I have not had their favorite candy for some time. PMS'ing women cursed me for not having chocolate at their beck and call. People come into my office, rifle through my candy dish, don't find what they want, and leave in a huff. (Did you notice how I got promoted from cubie to office in there, NICE!)

I've decided that my Christmas Spirit needs to rub off on my candy dish. I will get a nice assortment of candy, including chocolate, and make sure I have a smile on my face whenever someone comes to visit me. It really is a blessing to have my amazing job and I need to be more grateful for it and the wonderful people I work with. Merry Christmas!

Bored Out of My Freaking Skull!

My mind is so very bored inside my skull that it decided to wander around and find somethig much more interesting to do today. Perhaps the lunchroom is exciting. The bathroom? Maybe the hallway has something to offer.

The day after Christmas. Why am I here? I could be typing this useless blog at home. But if I were at home, I would not be typing a useless blog. I would be cleaning my house, or sleeping, or playing with my cats, of watching my hubby play his new Final Fantasy XII, or trying to convince said hubby to go outside and play Boche Ball with me, or sleeping or eating or going shopping to spend my gift cards. I SO want a breadmaker! Hey, that's what I can do. I have a gift card to Amazon, I can buy a breadmaker. Maybe I should wait 1 week for the people who got breadmakers for Christmas to sell them. So I still have nothing to do. I can't believe I'm getting paid right now.

What I got for Christmas

HP Laptop for school

Awesome Solitaire Board! I love Rocks!

Kodak EasyShare camera
(hubby has taken about 48 more pictures than me so far)



I'm going to start making T-Shirts with random comments and pictures on them, and send them to people as gifts, maybe even sell them.

1. Men. You can't live with 'em and you can only shoot 'em with a piantball gun.

2. Life's short. Eat dessert first.

3. Look! Elvis!

4. Rock, Paper, Scissors. Choose Wisely.

5. SPAM!

6. Nerdical!

7. Monkeyhead

8. You ate that like it was Cool!

9. Random Slightly Humorous Comment

10. Whip Me, Beat Me, Eat Me *picture of egg*

11. Ya Wanna? ;o)

12. Eden Eyes

13. SHOES!

14. Mushrooms are fun

15. Rules are for School

16. My friend started an online business and all I got was this dumb t-shirt

17. Mmmm! Donuts!

18. S'Mores! The other white meat.

19. Vapid

20. I think I need a time-out

21. Batteries Included

22. There is no spoon

23. Slinky! Slinky!

24. It's a jump to the left, then a step to the right.
Put your hands on your hips, bring your knees in tight.

25. Wanna play doctor?

26. I'm not an actor, but I play one on TV.

27. Gotcha!

28. You fake orgasm like I fake snoring.

29. Pick a card, any card.

30. Bond, James Bond

A Different Christmas Poem

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.
The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,
Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.
"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"
For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts.
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."
"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
"My Gramps died at 'Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers.
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile."
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother...
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."
"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?"
"It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."
Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget."
"To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled."
"Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

Just Bragging Now

Some things for me to brag about today:

1. I got a FAT bonus yesterday and an even FATTER raise for next year! I love my job!!

2. My new Gap Long and Lean jeans make me look smokin' hot!

3. The Clementine tangerines from my dwarf tree are sweet like sugar. It only took 4 years for them to grow, not bad!!

4.I got a new laptop AND fancy-pants digital camera for Christmas from my wonderful hubby!

5. The Dry-Cleaners if almost gone!

6. I'll have a short day on Friday and Tuesday!

7. It's Christmas on Monday!!

8. My boss just asked me for my home address for someone else, which means that I will be getting a present in the mail!!!

9. We got $75 worth of Best Buy gift cards from our mortgage broker yesterday, so I got a new mouse for my laptop!

10. I was able to share my testimony with my oldest friend and help her out this Christmas.

11. I have a much better understanding of the importance of Christmas and the reason we celebrate this time of year.

12. I know that my husband loves me, and enjoy spending time with him.

13. Our Christmas tree is so cute this year.

14. We got the Hallmark Cool Year 2006 and Grinch ornaments, the last ones they had. Keeping the tradition going!

15. My husband actually told me what he wants for Christmas!!

16. I was able to send a new pair of jeans (too tight for my booty) and homemade scarves and a hat to my sister for Christmas!

17. Miss Darci made homemade fudge for everyone today! Yumm!

18. I just decided to start putting random comments on T-Shirts and sending them to people for presents.



Started my first day of school yesterday through the University of Phoenix online courses. Today I turned in my first assignments. GO ME!!!! I am particularly looking forward to my Persuasive Writing class. I am already a pretty persuasive person, on the phone for sure and in person I never fail! Persuasiveness can also turn in manipulation, which I unfortunately lean toward when it comes to men. I am working on that one though.
I have been told that I have a smile to melt a man's heart and that I smell like a cookie, what more could you possibly need?
Focus, Emily, focus. School.
I am working toward my Business Management degree for various reasons. I feel that I have topped out my salary range in the corporate world by just having my high school diploma. In order to increase my status at work, increase my career opportunities and increase my paycheck, I need that silly piece of paper that says I can do the job I am probably already better at doing that the person who is doing it now. My current position is also filled my two people who have thier MBA's! As far as I can tell, our salaries are commenserate (sp?) (sp, what the hell am I doing, this is my freaking blog who cares if I spell a vocab word right. damn OCD!!)


Good Things That Happened Today....................................................

  1. Free Breakfast of good fruit and somewhat good breakfast burrito.
  2. E-mail from Ang with funny Christmas comics.
  3. Free Lunch with recruiter at Harry's (lemon grilled swordfish, yum!)
  4. $200 in cash Christmas gift from recuriter!!!
  5. Good Hair Day!
  6. Husband going camping with Scouts tonite, will get to sleep in the middle of the bed. Score!
  7. Talked to Mary today.
  8. Had nice dream with hot guy this morning and remembered it after I woke up!
  9. Free chocolates by the printer!
  10. Got a rep cleared who had been waiting 7 days.
  11. Didn't have to panic and push any other reps through on the last day.
  12. Reminded by a rep of why I left Smith Barney and am much happier now.
  13. Darci got her apartment!
  14. Added a new Garfield christmas card to my growing collection.
  15. Woke up late, took shower, dried my hair, picked out cute outfit, sat in traffic and still got to work on-time!
  16. Leaving work early! I'm outta here!
  17. Started weekend early (see #16 :o)


Quotes from people whom you trust your money with......................

Can I run my business out of an internet cafe?

How do you add columns to an Excel spreadsheet?

Why doesn't my laptop work at home? Do I need the internet or something?

I just can't set up a hotmail account. I can't do what you're asking me to do. I just can't do it.

I don't allow my clients to e-mail me. They invested before the internet.

What's an icon?

I don't have any ink for my fingerprint cards, can I get some at Staples?

*Printed and overnighted to me an e-mail attachment that I sent to him.*

Chemical Need for Unrequited Love

Norepinephrine, Dopamine, Seratonin, Insulin, Epinephrine, Adrenaline.

All of these chemicals run around in our brains every day and create emotions, reactions and states of mind. Some we can partially control, most we cannot. Some can be partially controlled by pharmacology, diet or practices such as yoga and other relaxative techniques. The vast majority of chemical reactions in our brain are out of our control and beyond our understanding.

What is the chemical reaction involved in new love? And why do some have an addiction to it? I do not assume in any way that I am a scientist and undertstand the chemicals at all. But I do understand, or am trying to, why I need new infatuations on a regular basis. I get bored so very easily, and having a new love/lust/flirtation/fantasy creates that sense of euphoria and pleasure I crave. This sense is created by Dopamine and Epinephrine in my brain. My heart starts to pound, temperature raises and my hands get clammy if I talk to or fantasize about my new love. This reaction is created by Adrenaline and Insulin. I get distracted from what I'm supposed to be doing and focus on this new interest. Distraction is caused by Norepinephrine and Seratonin.

My brain craves this mixture of chemicals like a junkie seeking their next fix. I seek out objects of my desire everywhere I go; on the freeway, at the grocery store, walking in the mall. Even while I'm standing next to my husband, I still attempt to portray a sex object so I can believe I am wanted by other men (and women) around me. As soon as I find a fixation for my attention, the chemicals begin their exhilarating run around my brain and I get my fix for the minute.

"Oh, God, I know no joy as great as a moment of rushing into a new love, no ecstasy like that of a new love. I swim in the sky; I float; my body is full of flowers, flowers with fingers giving me acute, acute caresses, sparks, jewels, quivers of joy, dizziness, such dizziness. Music inside of one, drunkenness. Only closing the eyes and remembering, and the hunger, the hunger for more, more, the great hunger, the voracious hunger, and thirst." -Anais Nin


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