It's Monday. A Monday with 4 meetings on my calendar. 4 one-hour long meetings. That's half of my day spent listening to someone else talk at me. Why is this a good way to spend my workday? Oh yeah, because I'm still getting paid to sit here and listen to someone talk at me. The current meeting is about productivity. I'm enjoying the irony.
What do you call a hooker in a wheelchair?
Roll-Aids!
Showing posts with label boredom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boredom. Show all posts
Monday
Wednesday
If all the animals along the equator...
If all the animals along the equator were capable of flattery, then Thanksgiving and Halloween will fall on the same day.
I'm going to wear flip-flops to my wedding. Yup!
Just because I can, and I have them, I will be posting a ton of old pics of family and friends on Facebook. Why not?
Name calling breaks my heart.
I'm so excited about the new landscaping we are having planted! I hope it will be as beautiful as I imagine.
Wedding at our house has gone from 25 or so people to around 70. Yikers! I don't even know that many people!
Need to put a little more effort into my work ethic. I've been a slacker lately.
The new slate on our screened-in porch is looking fabulous! Next step, grout.
Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.
Haven't posted any shoes in a while. Must change that!
I'm going to wear flip-flops to my wedding. Yup!
Just because I can, and I have them, I will be posting a ton of old pics of family and friends on Facebook. Why not?
Name calling breaks my heart.
I'm so excited about the new landscaping we are having planted! I hope it will be as beautiful as I imagine.
Wedding at our house has gone from 25 or so people to around 70. Yikers! I don't even know that many people!
Need to put a little more effort into my work ethic. I've been a slacker lately.
The new slate on our screened-in porch is looking fabulous! Next step, grout.
Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.
Haven't posted any shoes in a while. Must change that!
Monday
Yeah, Um, Ok.
The world is full of splashy billboards and cleverly marketed circus peanuts.
Even with my Phantom necklace and bedazzled Vicki's pants, I'm feeling a bit blah today.
Perhaps too much yard work and not enough sushi could be causing my case of the Monday's, but I have more on my mind than manual labor and raw fish.
My teeth are moving south and, unfortunately, so is my butt. I'm glad for one, not so much the other.
The amount of work on my desk is outwaying any idea of running tourist around Boston. But... If my laptop won't cooperate, I may have no choice but to act like some Chinese national, proudly wearing my trolley sticker and snapping pics like a non-pro.
That reminds me, I need to get my car inspected so I can be legal again and not worry about being arrested in DC. Not the worst place to get arrested, I assure you.
One day I plan to organize a small bedroom into my own little arts and crafts studio. Oh, a girl can dream.
Just when you think things have disappeared for good, they show up again in photo's you forgot about. Please keep me away from AquaNet.
The phone rings, the email dings, the paper weighs, the drop-ins stay, the issues grow, the powers know, the money slims, the bills spill.
Even with my Phantom necklace and bedazzled Vicki's pants, I'm feeling a bit blah today.
Perhaps too much yard work and not enough sushi could be causing my case of the Monday's, but I have more on my mind than manual labor and raw fish.
My teeth are moving south and, unfortunately, so is my butt. I'm glad for one, not so much the other.
The amount of work on my desk is outwaying any idea of running tourist around Boston. But... If my laptop won't cooperate, I may have no choice but to act like some Chinese national, proudly wearing my trolley sticker and snapping pics like a non-pro.
That reminds me, I need to get my car inspected so I can be legal again and not worry about being arrested in DC. Not the worst place to get arrested, I assure you.
One day I plan to organize a small bedroom into my own little arts and crafts studio. Oh, a girl can dream.
Just when you think things have disappeared for good, they show up again in photo's you forgot about. Please keep me away from AquaNet.
The phone rings, the email dings, the paper weighs, the drop-ins stay, the issues grow, the powers know, the money slims, the bills spill.
Wednesday
Questions I Will Probably Never Know the Answer To
..At Least Not in This Life.
- Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
- Why are there no 'B' batteries? Were they bad and sent away to the battery refugee camp, never to be heard from again?
- Why are yawns contagious? Sometimes just thinking about yawning makes me yawn..like right now.
- I live in a neat and clean 1 bedroom apartment and do my own laundry. Where the @&*! do my missing socks go?!?
- Why does 'sour' cream have an expiration date? It's already gone bad!
- Why do we hiccup? Cuz they suck.
- Why are cute women's shoes always so painful to wear? I think they are designed by men as a way to keep women in bondage.
- Has anyone ever got the skinny white ceramic dog that's always in the Wheel of Fortune prize showcase? It's been 15 years! Obviously no one wants the damn thing, give it to Goodwill!
- How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? I'll never know because as soon as I taste the Toostie Roll center, I throw it away.
- How is baseball 'America's pastime' when more people watch NASCAR?
- Where do all my pens go? They must be hanging out with my missing socks and lost B batteries.
Thursday
2-Line Rhymes
THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION
ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME
WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,
AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:
1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.
2.I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.
5. I thought that I could love no other-
- that is until I met your brother.
6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'
11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME
WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,
AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:
1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.
2.I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.
5. I thought that I could love no other-
- that is until I met your brother.
6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'
11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
Monday
Don't Ask
3 Letter Animals:
cat
dog
eel
rat
bat
emu
gnu
elk
yak
pug
fly
nit
ant
pig
cow
hog
egg
(if you do not support abortion, then you must believe that an egg is an animal)
Can you think of any more?
Friday
Tuesday
As Days Go By
It's been a little while since I've updated my faithful reader as to my happenings. So here's the rundown:
Three months and still going well.
The purging continues. Where did I get so much stuff?
Work is going really well. Busy busy busy.
Ladies 8-Ball team is in 1st Place! If we continue to win, we're going to Vegas Baby!
Need to wash the salt and dirt off my car.
Started a new Art class. Basic Acrylics, going shopping for my supplies tonite.
Andi had a great birthday party. It was nice to see her so happy and surrounded by friends.
Three months and still going well.
Trying to decide if I should send Valentines flowers...
I love having a clean house!
The purging continues. Where did I get so much stuff?
Learning to ask for what I want, it's slow and steady.
Plans this month: Hinder at Amos' South End!!
Work is going really well. Busy busy busy.
Have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning. I go to sleep way too late!
Went to the circus! It's still fun, even for grown-up kids!
Ladies 8-Ball team is in 1st Place! If we continue to win, we're going to Vegas Baby!
If I get laid off, I'm going in the Air Force.
Goals for 2009: Pay off two credit cards
Need to wash the salt and dirt off my car.
No girls, I don't wear lipstick and I'm not concerned about that at all.
Need to get my haircut.
Thursday
Tuesday
16 Random Things
I was tagged to do a list of 16 random things about me. I don't blog on my Facebook, so here it is.
- I put too much sugar in my cranberry apple tea this morning. More like warm Kool-Aid now.
- I want to see how far my new car will go with the gas light on. Old car, 58 miles was as far as I pushed it.
- If I get laid-off from this job, I will leave the financial industry completely. And never look back!
- 41 assorted objects displayed around my cuffice could easily be construed as "toys".
- This weekend I put up 7 new pictures/wall hangings. My home feels much more homey now.
- I started the new year with someone who is good for me.
- Public Relations sounds intriguing to me.
- Goal for 2009, pay off 2 credit cards!!
- I am trying to be more thoughtful of others. It's a work in progress.
- When I go out to sushi with friends, I am astonished that I'm the most daring one.
- I love Pesto!
- I worry I'll never have kids. If I cannot stay home with them, I will not have them.
- I want to go on a bus and walking tour of Washington D.C. so I don't have to worry about being arrested.
- Need to decide if I'm going to go to school on not. Then figure out how.
- Even though both my teams lost in embarrassing displays of Pop-Warner football skills, I'm still a fan!
- I have a hard time sitting down at home, I'm always on the move.
Tag, You're It! Sarah, Britt, Wanda Jo, Shell, Mom, Andi, Villa, Anyone else who's bored.
Monday
The Sheet Set Cult Mystery
In my quest for the perfect fitted sheet and pillowcases, I encountered a startling mystery. You cannot purchase a lone fitted sheet! Why, you ask? Because the fitted sheet makers of the world have decided in their world domineering committee's, that a person has no reason to buy a lone fitted sheet. Hence, we a forced to purchase an entire sheet set including: 1 fitted sheet, 1 flat sheet, 2 pillowcases.
To many this is not a problem at all, as they use the entire set. I am not one of these sheep, following the Sheet Set Cult blindly. I do not use the flat sheet. It has no purpose in my life. I have very nice, ultrasoft sable-like blankets against my skin when I cuddle into bed. Not a cold flat sheet. Why would I want cold sheet on both sides of me? I already have cold fitted sheet on the mattress side, I should not be forced to have cold flat sheet on the other side as well. This is a free country! If I choose to sleep with ultrasoft blanket, or sheepskin or burlap against my skin, that is my choice dagnabbit!!
Yet the Sheet Set Cult demands that I purchase their flat sheet. Why would I buy something I have no use for? I am a very thrifty person and choose not to spend my money on things that are useless to me. Why, oh, why can I not buy a lone fitted sheet?
Where did this Sheet Set conspiracy come from? Cotton farmers to drive up demand? Textile companies to increase production? Retailers to grow their bottom-line? It's a global conspiracy, I tell you! Well, I for one will not be duped by the Sheet Set Cult. I will not pay for a flat sheet that will sit folded and unused on my shelf, gathering dust and using up valuable space. I will not! I will Not! I will NOT!
If anyone knows how to obtain a new single fitted sheet, please share this revelation with me. In the meantime, I will be continuing my search for the perfect lone fitted sheet. Hi-ho Silver! Away!
To many this is not a problem at all, as they use the entire set. I am not one of these sheep, following the Sheet Set Cult blindly. I do not use the flat sheet. It has no purpose in my life. I have very nice, ultrasoft sable-like blankets against my skin when I cuddle into bed. Not a cold flat sheet. Why would I want cold sheet on both sides of me? I already have cold fitted sheet on the mattress side, I should not be forced to have cold flat sheet on the other side as well. This is a free country! If I choose to sleep with ultrasoft blanket, or sheepskin or burlap against my skin, that is my choice dagnabbit!!
Yet the Sheet Set Cult demands that I purchase their flat sheet. Why would I buy something I have no use for? I am a very thrifty person and choose not to spend my money on things that are useless to me. Why, oh, why can I not buy a lone fitted sheet?
Where did this Sheet Set conspiracy come from? Cotton farmers to drive up demand? Textile companies to increase production? Retailers to grow their bottom-line? It's a global conspiracy, I tell you! Well, I for one will not be duped by the Sheet Set Cult. I will not pay for a flat sheet that will sit folded and unused on my shelf, gathering dust and using up valuable space. I will not! I will Not! I will NOT!
If anyone knows how to obtain a new single fitted sheet, please share this revelation with me. In the meantime, I will be continuing my search for the perfect lone fitted sheet. Hi-ho Silver! Away!
Friday
It's Officially the Christmas Season
How do I know? Because I have my winter sickness. I always get sick in the winter, right after Thanksgiving. It seems to be a pattern that I can trace back for a few years now. Unfortunately so much is happening during this time of year that it's hard for me to just stay home and rest as I should. I have so much to do, and the year is quickly slipping away in which to do it all. Here's a quick list of my To-Do's before this year end:
- Complete Christmas Shopping
- Prepare and send Christmas presents
- Learn to bake gingerbread cookies
- Go to Walt Disney World for vacation!! (not such a burden, but still on my list)
- Write Christmas cards and get addresses for people
- Research new cars
- Test drive new cars
- Buy 1 new car
- Sign up for January Art class at community college
- Decorate my house as much as possible
- Write New Year's Resolution's
- Gather as many photos of family as possible
- Scan hard copies of photos, and color-correct
- Get Internet at home (I'm "borrowing" someone else's ;o)
- Stop being sick
- Figure out what I'm doing for Christmas day
See, that's a long list and doesn't even include everything. I really just want to crawl back into bed. Hhmmmmm...bed....that sounds too good to be true....
Tuesday
Me for today
2 hour massage tonight.
Am going to cancel Massage Envy membership and get cheaper massage at the massage school.
Contemplating going to that school to gain my massage therapist license.
Bowled my highest score ever last night!
There are so many great authors out there, and so few that I'm familiar with.
Need to obtain library card.
My month is filling up so quick.
New Bob's Big Boy bank is adorable!
I need to stop worrying about what will happen and just enjoy what is happening.
Looking too far ahead makes you miss what's right in front of you.
Have 5 tickets to Kings Dominion that I need to use before they expire.
Hope to see old friends soon.
Thinking of taking up bowling instead of pool, at least it's some exercise.
Will be wearing two costumes for Halloween; one for work and one for the evening party.
I'm hungry.
Am going to cancel Massage Envy membership and get cheaper massage at the massage school.
Contemplating going to that school to gain my massage therapist license.
Bowled my highest score ever last night!
There are so many great authors out there, and so few that I'm familiar with.
Need to obtain library card.
My month is filling up so quick.
New Bob's Big Boy bank is adorable!
I need to stop worrying about what will happen and just enjoy what is happening.
Looking too far ahead makes you miss what's right in front of you.
Have 5 tickets to Kings Dominion that I need to use before they expire.
Hope to see old friends soon.
Thinking of taking up bowling instead of pool, at least it's some exercise.
Will be wearing two costumes for Halloween; one for work and one for the evening party.
I'm hungry.
Thursday
Keep them doggies rolling...
Serious contemplations of leaving it all behind to become a ranch hand in Colorado.
Single life is not so bad, I sleep diagonally on the bed.
Pool tonite, thank goodness.
Surrounded by candy is not the best way to fend off secretary spread.
Wish people would just do what they say they are going to do, so I can do what I need to do.
Where did all this stuff on my desk come from? I'm such a pack-rat!
Only reason they hung around? Hmm... Wonder why?
Wet carpet and moldy baseboard do not a happy camper make.
Totally understand Michelle Pfieffer's song now.
Cleo's little eye is sore. Will try some eye drops to see if that helps.
I could live in Savannah.
I miss carne asada. And Rubio's fish tacos. Would anyone in SD like to overnight some to me? I would be forever in your debt.
Single life is not so bad, I sleep diagonally on the bed.
Pool tonite, thank goodness.
Surrounded by candy is not the best way to fend off secretary spread.
Wish people would just do what they say they are going to do, so I can do what I need to do.
Where did all this stuff on my desk come from? I'm such a pack-rat!
Only reason they hung around? Hmm... Wonder why?
Wet carpet and moldy baseboard do not a happy camper make.
Totally understand Michelle Pfieffer's song now.
Cleo's little eye is sore. Will try some eye drops to see if that helps.
I could live in Savannah.
I miss carne asada. And Rubio's fish tacos. Would anyone in SD like to overnight some to me? I would be forever in your debt.
Monday
...Like a Woman
MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A WOMAN.....
On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.
One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die," she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?"
For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then a cowboy from Oklahoma stands up in the rear of the plane. He is handsome: tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt.
One button at a time........
No one moves..................
He removes his shirt................
Muscles ripple across his chest.......
She gasps....................
He whispers.................
"Iron this...then get me a beer."
On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.
One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die," she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?"
For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then a cowboy from Oklahoma stands up in the rear of the plane. He is handsome: tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt.
One button at a time........
No one moves..................
He removes his shirt................
Muscles ripple across his chest.......
She gasps....................
He whispers.................
"Iron this...then get me a beer."
Sunday
Another Day, Another $0.62
To all my faithful readers out there, I have not taken the last ship out of Saigon. I'm still around, and around, and around.
My recent life in a nutshell:
I like my new apartment
Journey's new lead singer is pretty dang awesome!! They still Rock!
I screamed myself hoarse on King's Dominion's stupendous roller coasters.
Never take directions from a cheap hotel's desk clerk at 1:30 in the morning. You'll end up in Baltimore. Not so fun.
Suspended registration is an arrestable offense in the District of Columbia. I found this out the hard way, but talked and girled my way out of it. A Thank You card is on it's way to a cute motorcycle cop with a good sense of humor.
The Lincoln Memorial is awe inspiring. Almost as powerful as the Vietnam Memorial. I am so grateful to be free.
Watermelon Spike is pretty good.
I got a new Flat panel LCD TV with a built in DVD player, a stereo tuner and 5.1 surround speakers, all for $80 bucks. Sweet!
I'm making my own curtains.
New ceiling fan in my bedroom!
I've learned that I'm a pretty impressive shot, even for a girl.
There is more artwork than walls. What to do, oh what to do?
I wonder if the kitties miss the backyard?
I have to go grocery shopping. My fridge looks like a poor bachelor's.
Tonite is pedicure night.
I have a very surprised look on my face in my new NC drivers license picture. It's a long story.
Back to work tomorrow. Yay?
My recent life in a nutshell:
I like my new apartment
Journey's new lead singer is pretty dang awesome!! They still Rock!
I screamed myself hoarse on King's Dominion's stupendous roller coasters.
Never take directions from a cheap hotel's desk clerk at 1:30 in the morning. You'll end up in Baltimore. Not so fun.
Suspended registration is an arrestable offense in the District of Columbia. I found this out the hard way, but talked and girled my way out of it. A Thank You card is on it's way to a cute motorcycle cop with a good sense of humor.
The Lincoln Memorial is awe inspiring. Almost as powerful as the Vietnam Memorial. I am so grateful to be free.
Watermelon Spike is pretty good.
I got a new Flat panel LCD TV with a built in DVD player, a stereo tuner and 5.1 surround speakers, all for $80 bucks. Sweet!
I'm making my own curtains.
New ceiling fan in my bedroom!
I've learned that I'm a pretty impressive shot, even for a girl.
There is more artwork than walls. What to do, oh what to do?
I wonder if the kitties miss the backyard?
I have to go grocery shopping. My fridge looks like a poor bachelor's.
Tonite is pedicure night.
I have a very surprised look on my face in my new NC drivers license picture. It's a long story.
Back to work tomorrow. Yay?
Tuesday
Soft Breezes
It's late. I'm awake. Pondering. Random thoughts as the fan dries out my eyes. Does it really matter where I bank? How big of a ticket would I get if I got pulled over with my year old expired out of state registration?
Why is there such trash on TV these days? I just watched Tila Tequila get her heart broken by a girl who decided she would rather be with a guy. And this is quality, family entertainment folks. Why was I watching this you ask? It was in front of me on the treadmill. I kept trying to walk away, faster and faster, but was going nowhere. Like so many other things in life, the harder you try, the more you stay in the same place.
What are we gonna do with the kitten? Anyone want a cute little red haired kitten?
Who do I want to be? Do I even know? How do I find out? I thought I knew once, but I turned out to be wrong. Quite the learning experience, I assure you.
I really do enjoy listening to Christian music, it makes me smile. It is not lukewarm at all, despite opinions to the contrary.
I can't wait to see my mom this weekend. It's been almost 3 years since I saw her last. She'll finally get to meet her son in law.
Meditation is a wonderful thing. Moments of blissful silence, when you stop thinking and just be.
Prayer is when you talk, mediation is when you listen.
When jokes go sour, you just apologize and move on. No harm intended.
I've learned that apologizing first makes things much easier. Things such as moving on.
The Giver is a wonderful book about the importance of our memories, our feelings, our humanity. The world is in vivid color, all around us. We should not waste our precious time with our eyes and minds closed to what we could experience if we only allowed ourselves to see. Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder, beauty exists even when no one sees it. That's what makes it beautiful. When we are lucky enough to witness true beauty, it is because we chose to see what was already there, waiting.
Why is there such trash on TV these days? I just watched Tila Tequila get her heart broken by a girl who decided she would rather be with a guy. And this is quality, family entertainment folks. Why was I watching this you ask? It was in front of me on the treadmill. I kept trying to walk away, faster and faster, but was going nowhere. Like so many other things in life, the harder you try, the more you stay in the same place.
What are we gonna do with the kitten? Anyone want a cute little red haired kitten?
Who do I want to be? Do I even know? How do I find out? I thought I knew once, but I turned out to be wrong. Quite the learning experience, I assure you.
I really do enjoy listening to Christian music, it makes me smile. It is not lukewarm at all, despite opinions to the contrary.
I can't wait to see my mom this weekend. It's been almost 3 years since I saw her last. She'll finally get to meet her son in law.
Meditation is a wonderful thing. Moments of blissful silence, when you stop thinking and just be.
Prayer is when you talk, mediation is when you listen.
When jokes go sour, you just apologize and move on. No harm intended.
I've learned that apologizing first makes things much easier. Things such as moving on.
The Giver is a wonderful book about the importance of our memories, our feelings, our humanity. The world is in vivid color, all around us. We should not waste our precious time with our eyes and minds closed to what we could experience if we only allowed ourselves to see. Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder, beauty exists even when no one sees it. That's what makes it beautiful. When we are lucky enough to witness true beauty, it is because we chose to see what was already there, waiting.
Thursday
T-Shirt of the Day
I wish I was an egg laying, duck billed, beaver tailed, water-dwelling, super-hero mammal!
That's hot!
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