Pizza Delivery

Delivering Pizza for Godfather's was the funnest job I ever had. I was 20 years old, had a red Nissan 240SX and took corners in 3rd gear. Beware Pizza delivery drivers! They are the WORST drivers on the road, because their tip depends on how fast they get that pizza to it's home. The rules of the road do not apply to pizza delivery drivers; rules such as red lights, double-yellow lines, no U-turn signs, stop signs, right-of-way, speed limits, curve warnings, speed bumps and other cars.

One time in the rain, while listening to Colin Raye's "Little Red Rodeo" full blast, I turned left from S. Santa Fe onto Vista Way through a yellow light, I hit the railroad tracks and 540'd, landing facing oncoming traffic, their light turned green. I flipped it into reverse, straightened out and floored it back to the store. Then I got out, sat on the curb and cried because I realized I almost died.

One time I pulled up to a house and could hear the music from the driveway and a bunch of people in the backyard. I rang the doorbell, but couldn't hear it through the din. I banged on the door with my fist, no luck. I walked over to the fence and yelled at he guys in the backyard, they heard me and came to the door. All of them came to the door. About 10-12 drunks stood at the door and immediately invited me in, offering me beer and cigars. I politely and flirtingly turned them down. The four pizzas were delivered and I walked away with a $22 tip!

One time I delivered a pie to some scary apartments by Vista High and a group of Vato's gave me directions to the apartment I was looking for. An hour later the other girl driver came into the store saying she had been assaulted by that same bunch of Vato's in the same apartments. Those guys were nice to me. It made me wonder why I was different?

One time I traded a tip for a bowl.

One time I went to 7-11 between deliveries for a Slurpee and the guy in front of me in line bought cigarettes with silver dollars. I traded the cashier dollar bills for the coins and took them to the coin dealer on Vista Way by Brengle Terrace and he said the "Walking Liberty" coin was worth between $18-25 dollars depending on condition and date. I still have those coins today.

One time I delivered a pizza to Joe Kocian, Brian May and Packy.

One time I pulled up at a house, and the chick thought I was her crazy ex-boyfriend, same car, and she came running out of the house screaming at me. I thought she was gonna kill me.

One time in the store, the other drivers were telling a story of some dude who jumped the fence and slid across the hood of a the car to stop the dude from driving away, then punched out the driver side window and beat the crap out of some dude in his car. I asked what show they were talking about and they said, "It wasn't a show Emily, it was your boyfriend Piggy. Today!" He was charged with assault.

One time while on delivery I was propositioned to make a porn. I declined.

One time a little girl asked me if I was Suddenly Susan, ie. Brooke Shields. I took that as a compliment.

One time, after tailgating at Jack Murphy for the Denver/Greenbay Superbowl, me and Denise Schultz walked around the stadium and got drinks from every tailgating party there was. I was still totally smashed and had to work. I listened to the game on the radio and was coming down Melrose when the Bronco's scored. I screamed "Go Denver" at some cops out the window. I don't know why they didn't flip a B and pull my drunk butt over. I don't even remember if Denver won.

One time I delivered to the motel on Vista Way and when I walked in the door, some huge black guy and skinny tweaker chick were jumping all around. I saw lines cut on the table and dropped the pizzas right on them. They paid with a bad check, and my manager called the cops when I got back to the store.

One time I delivered to a little old lady who lived of W. Los Angeles and by the time I got back to the store she had called my manager and yelled at him about allowing a sweet girl like me to be out at night in a bad neighborhood, and that he should be ashamed of himself for not protecting me.