At one point in my life, I would have said that I was a pretty good rollerskater. On 8 wheels I would do little tricks like jump off curbs and roll along backwards. Then I grew up and realized that falling down hurts and scabs were no longer cool. Having not been on rollerskates since elementary school, I was excited to go to Ups and Downs Roller Rink (suitable name) with friends from church. The time frame is about 6 1/2 years ago and many years after elementary school and my days of daring tricks.
As I laced up the rented white four wheelers, I got that wonderful sense of reminisce, and remembered my brave tricks of old. I thought, no problem, I'm not an old lady, I'll fly on these! Woe to me. I looked about at coordinated as any other spindley legged walrus on butter coated ballbearings could look. It was not a pretty sight. I was slow. Children were flying past me like and I was an old lady in the slow lane. The guy I was "dating" at the time ( a cute blonde Marine) brought his rollerblades and showed off for everyone to envy. As he lapped me for the umpteenth time, he cruised along backwards just to rub it in. I caught up with some girlfriends and we hatched a wonderful plan to play whiptail.
For those of you unfamiliar with this particular fourwheeler game, you all get in a line and hold on to each others waists (or there abouts). The person in front of the line skates as fast as they can in erratic directions, causing the people at the back of the whip to fly around very quickly. All in the name of good clean fun. I, being the slowest skater of the bunch, ended up in the back as they all raced to get in line. I think we were about 6 people deep. I grabbed onto my friend Brittany's (beautiful blonde in my Top Friends) waistband and off we went whipping along. In my memory time both flies by and slows painfully down in the next few moments.
The roller rink blurred by as I tried desperately to cling to Brittany's jeans. I am whipping this way and that as our fearless leader weaves and dodges through the crowd of innocent bystanders. I have no recollection of how many laps we did, but the following incident is very clear and in slow motion. I'll type slowly so you can get the full effect. Picture me, graceful as a drunken monkey, losing all balance and orientation on one last turn. My spidey survival sense tells me to hold on tight so I don't fall down and kill myself. Here's the problem, I am holding on to someone pants who is traveling almost as fast as I am and also trying desperately not to die.
Brittany's spidey survival sense tells her, something is pulling you down, Get it off you!! The problem is that it's me that's pulling her down and I dont want to let go. She attempts to turn around and unlocked my death grip on her jeans. I see the fear in her eyes as we both start crashing to the ground. She has slowed down quite a bit in her turn, I have not. As we collapse in a heap on the concrete hard floor, I hear a gasp of pain emanate from her lips. I know she is hurt and it's all my fault. Bad Emily, no Donut!
She is on her back on the rink floor, using my still forward inertia I launch on top of her and cry out, "Oh My Gosh Brittany Are You OK!?!?" Here's the mental image: Crowded roller rink, many people circling by, two beautiful women with long hair, laying Missionary style of the rink floor grabbing each other and rolling back and forth. We put on quite a show. People stopped and watched, ordering drinks from the passing waitress. We slowly, carefully and painfully make our way off the rink floor, through the crowd of cheering onlookers and onto the carpeted area. Brittany is holding her backside and nearly in tears. Turns out, she broke her tailbone (coccyx for you Med students). I still owe her a donut pillow (and so many other things).
Moral of the story: When youre in trouble, dont drag others down with you. Just let go!!
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