Nurses are Angels in White Shoes

Today started out as a typical Monday. I woke up at 5:15am, took a shower, blow dried my hair, picked out a pretty dress to wear, said prayers with my hubby then off to work. I sat in traffic an got to work around 7:30a. I said hello to people, logged on to my computer, turned on my heater to warm up my cold tootsies. I checked my voicemail and e-mail. I made 1 outgoing phone call and took 1 ioncoming call. I volunteered to do a home office visit for someone who was out. Then, I felt a sharp, stabbing, overwhelming pain in the lower left side of my tummy. I started to black out. I thought 'This will pass'. It didn't pass. I wanted to cry and scream, but I was at work so I started to pray. 'Father, I need you with me. I need you with me right now.'

Some woman was saying my name and I couldn't understand why she wouldn't just let me sleep. I was having a nice dream. On the floor. In my office. I opened my eyes and saw my boss staring at me. I was laying on the floor and my coworker Heather was calling my name to wake me up. I had passed out. I was out for about 10 seconds. My boss helped to up to my chair and turned off my heater. I started to sit up and got very lightheaded again and he told me to put my head between my knees, which I did. I was shaking and my ears were fuzzy like static on TV. Heather was on the phone with the 911 operator.

Within minutes 3 Firemen and 3 Paramedics showed up with all kinds of machines and questions and a gurney. They took my blood pressure and went through their litany of questions to me and my boss and coworkers. I was so embarrased. I wanted to crawl under my desk. They put me on the gurney and strapped me in with the 5 point Nascar harness. Down the elevator, saying goodbye to the facilities guys who eat all my candy, telling them that if I didn't make it through, they could have all my candy. They loaded me into a real ambulance. Part of me felt like an idiot, part of me felt like a rockstar.

We were off to Sharp Memorial Hospital in San Diego. Paramedic Intern Ben inserted my IV going over speedbumps, that was exciting. They took my vitals again and called in all my info to the emergency room at the hospital. Paramedic Mike Williams told me all about the ambulance and some of his stories. The inside of an ambulance looks the same in real life as it does on TV. But they didn't have the sirens blaring, thank God! At the hospital I got checked in and asked the same questions all over again. I said goodbye to my Paramedics and got wheeled in the emergency room. The wonderful and beautiful nurse on duty, Debbie got me all stripped and situated in my backside baring gown and set me up with all my monitors. The EKG guy Raymond came and stuck stickers to me and hooked up my heart to the beeping monitor. New Paramedic interns came and asked me the same questions again and took my blood pressure and fixed my IV. Dr. Kramer came and talked to me, same questions again, ordered an EKG an X-Ray and a CatScan of my belly.

I got to pee in a cup, pregnancy test was negative :o( The chest x-Ray guy (didn't get his name so I just called him X-Ray Man) took a snapshot of my checst and told me I have very long lungs. What a nice odd compliment. Back to my bed, the Doc wanted to see my girlparts. There is no shame in the ER, so I was spread eagle behind a curtain. Next, I was introduced to the wonderful hospital torture of Oral Contrast. This is the tasty stuff you have to drink in order for the CatScan to see your insides. When I say tasty, I mean tasty like too much Equal mixed with dishsoap is tasty. Yum! I had to down 32 ounces of this stuff. They gave me a half hour, but I'm a trooper so I chugged it. I almost puked on the last ounce, but breathed through my nose and I was A-Ok. Because dishsoap leaves such a desirable taste in your mouth, I grabbed the peanut butter M&M's out of my lunchbag and munched a few. This was as no-no. Nurse Debbie roundly reprimanded me and said, "Nothing else goes in your mouth unless I say so." Whoops.

I had to wait for the dishsoap to make it's way through me so I got some new warm blankets from the warm blanket fairy and chit-chatted with the Paramedic Interns Davey M. and Brady H. Both of these gents were in IV Ben's class and said they would give him a hard time for the way my IV was put together. I learned that Paramedic Interns do not get paid to be interns and have to work 10-12 hour shifts. They also all want to become firemen because that's were all the action is. Interesting stuff. Next came radiology assistant Ali to take me upstairs for my CatScan. Oh yeah, I am allergic to Iodine, which is widely used in the medical industry. Ihe dishsoap concotion is iodine based and I watched them run back and forth with, yes you can drink it, no you can't drink it, yes you can, no you can't, OK drink it. I drank it and didn't die.

In the Catscan, they inject a large amount of Iodine based something into your IV. The CatScan angel Em (real name Emo with an umlaut over the "O" pronounced Emu, that's why she goes by Em. Funny!) Anyways, CatScan Em told me to tell her right away if the new Iodine stuff hurt, it didn't. I have a topical allergy not an internal allergy, I learned something new! During the CatScan an omnipotent voice from above says "Breathe. Hold your breath. Breathe." I was an exemplary CatScan patient and breathed on cue. Back downstairs and into my ER spot, I hook myself back up to all my cords and XRay Man says, "Look at this model patient, hooking herself back up." I think the interns were bummed that I wasn't more needy, but they still kept coming back to chat with me.

In come the Doc with my results. Negative! I am very healthy. What the heck? His diagnosis: I had an ovarian cyst that burst. The pain passed my body's pain threshold and my brain turned off. Wow. He said ovarian cycts are very common in young women (though I will be 30 in a week!) There was no blood or infection in my abdominal cavity and all blood tests came back negative for infection. The cyst most likely just had fluid, ie white blood cells, in it and is not a danger to me. I will have to do MUCH more research on this subject and find a greast OB-GYN in Charlotte.

I finally call D and let him know where I am. He comes to get me and I say goodbye to everyone who has been so nice to me. We stop for lunch and my fortune cookie says "Luck is with you now. Trust your instincts." D laughs and says, "Luck is with you NOW, not earlier, but right now." Makes sense. I didn't die today and I met some really nice, caring, thoughtful people who enjoy their jobs and spend their days and nights in service to others. I was humbled and helped and taken care of today by strangers. What a wonderful blessing it was to pass out in my office today. God works in mysterious ways.