Tricking My Pen

Tenth Grade brought MANY new experiences to me. I learned that you cannot trick your pen. What on earth am I talking about, you ask? As I sat in class, English class I believe, writing an essay, my mind began to wander. My wandering mind is not a new thing, but today my mind had some additional help in it's wandering. Some chemical help.

My mind wandered to the pen help tightly in my right hand. How did all the letters on my page fit into such a small pen. Were the letters like those expando dinosaur toys I played with as a kid? The ones you put in water and they grow 50x their original size? Did the letters expand once they hit the air and the paper? If they did expand once in contact with air, then that meant the letters were all packed inside my pen waiting to come out. But how did they know when to come out? Could my pen read my mind!?

That must be it! My pen could read my mind and knew what letter I was going to write next. What a smart pen! But how smart was it really? Could I trick my pen into writing a letter that I was not thinking? I had to know.

I decided to experiment (with so many things hahaha) focus, focus. I decided to experiment with my pen and test it. How smart is my pen? Can it read my mind? I began to think of the letter "e".
e, e, e, e, e, e, e, e, e, e, e eeeeeeee
then quickly wrote a "g". I did write a "g". My pen was not tricked. How can this be? Perhaps the letters were too similar. Perhaps I was not concentrating enough. I thought of another letter and quickly wrote a different letter on my paper. Foiled again!

I continued different experiments in tricking my pen, thinking of words and letters and numbers in insequential order, writing something as I think of something different. To no avail. The pen is truly mightier.

A strange ringing sound filled my ears. Movement to my left and right. What is going on? Oh no. The bell rang. I'm at school, in class. I have to turn in this piece of paper. Oh dear! I stare in fear the the scribbled mess in front of me. The top of the page shows three well constructed paragraphs of essay quality writing. Somewhere in the middle of the fourth paragraph, the chemicals took over and my pen drew all my attention.
Not only had I been thinking the above thoughts, I had been writing them down. Uh-oh.

When your mind is not your own, you do not think of cause and effect. You do not realize that your actions have any effect on anything else in the world. You are in your own world and nothing touches you, and you touch nothing else. If you put a full glass on the edge of a table, you will not realize that pushing it will make the glass fall and spill. Cause and effect do not exist.

Today I did not understand that if I gave my piece of paper to my teacher that they would read it. I did not understand that my paper was written proof of my extracuricular activities. I did not understand anything past the moment. I gave my paper to the teacher, with a blank stare and no expectation of anything. For why on earth would I need anything from anyone? I am my own, although my pen is smarter than I. I will think of this for many hours later, store it away for now.

The next day. The chemicals have worn off. I have to go to English class. Oh no. As I timidly sit down, awaiting the call to the principal's office, my teacher passes back the essays from yesterday. As she puts my sad scribbled piece of paper on my chair/desk, I see red ink. red ink is never a good sign (though I am not proposing we switch to purple ink to spare children's delicate sensibilities. Do you think the stock market gives a hoot about their sensibilities?! Hell NO!!!) What!?

I hold the piece of paper in my hands and read my doom.

"Good start but you lost me at the end".

Was this a joke? You lost me at the end!?!?! Are you @&$^_@!% kidding me?! Here I am screaming for help "I'M ON DRUGS!!!!" and all I get is "You lost me at the end". Real @&$!@&% observant public educator.

This is the reason my children will be going to private schools if I have to be homeless to pay for it!!